Page 36 of Poetry By Dead Men
“They’re disappointed,” I say, truthfully this time. “Mom started crying and had to give the phone to dad. But he didn’t yell. So that’s a start, I guess.”
“You’re staying in New York?” he asks, pressing his body against mine, pinning me to the porch wall.
“I’m staying in New York,” I say, my heart thundering.
“Becauseyouwant to?” He leans forward, his lips only a breath away, and I can barely breathe.
“Because I want to. I chose this for myself.”My voice is nothing but a whisper.
Bobby exhales slowly, tracing his thumb along my cheekbone. “I love you, Beth Winters,” he says, but before I can process his confession, his arms are around me and his lips are against mine.
The world detonates into an explosion of fireworks that make the black behind my eyelids erupt in a magical, glittering display of color. The firm, confident pressure of his soft lips against mine is life-altering, earth-shattering in a way that makes something deep inside me shift, and I know from this moment forward I will never be the same.My hands slide around his waist and up his back as he pulls me closer, a groan leaving the back of his throat.
I gasp as he tugs my hair backward to deepen the kiss, his tongue swirling with mine and his hands so bound in my hair it’s almost as if we become one. Bobby whispers my name against my mouth, his body pressing against mine so firmly, I don't know where Iend and he begins.
My heart thunders in my chest, and my knees go weak. Bobby devours me like a starving man, tasting every part of my mouth until I’m breathless, until I can barely stand. When he finally breaks away, his smile lights up the night, his dimple deeper than I’ve ever seen it.
“I love you,” he says again, this time pressing a soft kiss to my lips, then my neck.
I’m speechless. I'm in a million tiny pieces and somehow more whole than I've ever been. I’m not sure I'm even physically in my body anymore, but I have to be, because I can feeleverything.
“You mean to tell me,” I say breathlessly, my chest heaving with shallow breaths, “we could’ve been doing that all along, but you’ve been holding yourself back because you were afraid I would choose mycollegefor you?”
“It sounds dumb when you say it like that,” Bobby laughs against my throat. “Turns out, you could have gone anywhere. We’d have to figure out how to see each other next year, no matter where you chose.”
I freeze. “You got it?”
Bobby leans back to look at me, his smile growing impossibly wider. “I got it.”
I squeal, so excited for him, I feel like I could burst.
“I got the tour!” he shouts, most definitely waking up my neighbors as he picks me up and spins me around. It reminds me of when I got into NYU, the way he celebrated me and my achievements as if they were his own.
I don't ask him to be quiet. If there was ever a time to shout something from the rooftops, it’s now.
“Congratulations! This is amazing!” He got the tour,andhe loves me. Bobby sets me down, my body sliding against his as he lowers me to my feet. I reach up and cup his cheek, rising on my tiptoes to brush my lips against his.
“I'm so proud of you. And I love you, too,” I whisper, and Bobby freezes, his mouth dropping open as he looks down at me like I’m the sun after days of storms.
“You don’t have to say it just because I did,” he breathes, searching my eyes.
“Iwantto. It’s the truth,” I say.
“You love me,” his rough voice scrapes down my spine, and my body arches into him. “Of everything that's happened tonight,thisis what I’m going to remember forever,” he whispers, kissing me again. Harder and deeper until my lips are swollen, and the sun is rising, and our lungs are full of the same air.
And when the kiss ends, I don’t feel the loss of it. Because Bobby loves me, and we’re not really done. We have forever.
NOW
August 2024
I'm sorry if I hurt you,
For my anger. It wasn't right.
I just love you so very much
My emotions won last night.
