Page 14 of Poetry By Dead Men
I audibly exhale, the tension immediately easing from my shoulders. "Holy crap, Molly!" I throw a handful of popcorn at her. "You scared me!”
"You don’t think that’s bad news?"she breathes.
I shrug. "Not unless you’re forgoing college to run off to Bali with some guy I don’t know." I shove a Twizzler in my mouth.
"What? No. I just don’t know what I want to do. I think I’m going to try for an internship somewhere in fashion, or interior design, maybe."
"You’d be amazing at either," I say. Molly’s always the one I call for help when I need to pick out something to wear for an important event. And Lord knows you can make a living decorating rich people’s houses. My mother alone has spent tens of thousands redecorating just our kitchen, and she’s hardly even home to use it.
"Okay then," Molly says, sounding surprised.
"Okay. I’m not sure what you expected. Did you think I’d be mad?"I ask, placing a hand over my heart, pretending to be wounded.
"I don’t know. I thought I’d at least get some pushback. Maybe I’m using you as a trial run before I talk to my parents. I mean, I spent all this time applying to schools with them, and their friends pulled strings to get me interviews. They’re going to be pissed."
They’re not. I’m certain of it. They’re too busy taking her six-year-old brother, Michael, to treatments, watching their son fight for his life. “They’re going to be proud of you, just like I am,” I say. "I think it’s brave."
Molly leans forward, grabbing my hands. "You can be brave, too," she says, and I know instantly what she's talking about. My mind shifts to the applications sitting filled out on the cluttered desk in my room: Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, Brown, Dartmouth, and... NYU. I wince as I think about what my mother's reaction would be if she learned I’ve been considering applying anywhere other than a university smothered in ivy. Without a doubt, she'd consider my betrayal to her plan a true tragedy. One worthy of a poem that would be immortalized for eternity in remembrance of the great disappointment that was Beth Winters.
I wish I was brave enough not to care.
My phone buzzes.Hey Beth, it’s Bobby, the screen reads, and in the blink of an eye, there aredozensof butterflies in my stomach, flapping their wings so hard it makes me nauseous.
Molly squeals, her confession about bailing on college completely forgotten. She slaps my arm. "I didn’t know you and Bobby text!"
Molly grabs the phone from my hand and unlocks it.
"We don’t! Remind me to change my code when you give that back," I say sarcastically, but my annoyance trails off as a smile spreads across her face, and she turns the phone toward me.
Bobby: Hey Beth, it’s Bobby. I wanted to let you know that I won’t be at Joe’s tomorrow. I’m teaching a last-minute guitar lesson. I tried to reschedule it, but you know… bills.
The text is simple, but at the same time, loaded with meaning.
"He’s so into you," Molly says with another squeal, and I swat at her, my cheeks turning red.
“He’s just being polite,” I say.
"Okay. No offense, but that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. Helikesyou.”
"He does not." I blush, typing back a very lame,Thanks for letting me know.But it’s all I can think of with Molly hovering over my shoulder. Three little dots appear almost immediately, as if he was waiting for my reply, and the thought makes my chest tighten.
Bobby: Was that a new poem you were working on today? Did you finish it?
Molly throws herself back into the cushions dramatically. "Riiiiiight. He doesn’t like you."
"Play the movie, and leave me alone," I say, trying to hide my smile as I curl up in the corner of the couch to type out my reply.
Me: Yes! I’ll need to tweak it some. But it’s getting there.
Bobby: I’m sure it’s amazing
Me: You’re amazing.I type, then promptly delete my confession, wishing once again I was brave like Molly.
Me: So who’s the lesson for tomorrow? Is it a beginner? Or a college student?
Bobby: Both.He’s never picked up a guitar before, but he wants to impress a girl at school.
Me: I mean, I get it. Guitar players are super hot.
