Page 204 of Kiss Me in the Dark
“Yeah,” I admit, shoving my hands into my pockets.“But I don’t want to talk about it.Not today.”
Fox gives me a small, understanding smile.“If you want, I can stay,” he offers.“Med school can wait—”
I press a finger to his lips, cutting him off.“Don’t you dare,” I say with a smile.“You’re going to med school.You’re going to rock that doctor’s coat, and it’s going to be so damn sexy.”
He chuckles, pulling me into a hug.“I’m really going to miss you.”
“Promise me you’ll always call,” he whispers into my ear.“And answer when I call.”
“I promise,” I whisper back, though my voice wavers.
Blaze pulls up just as we’re saying our final goodbyes.He steps out of the car, grinning.“Your chauffeur has arrived,” he announces.
Fox groans.“Why did it have to be you?”
“Because I’m the only one who can tolerate your ass,” Blaze fires back with a smirk.
They banter back and forth while I try to memorize every detail of Fox’s face.His smile, his laugh, the way his eyes light up when he’s teasing Blaze.
“You should come to the airport with me,” Fox says, turning back to me.
“I wish I could.”My voice cracks as I hug him one last time.“I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” he says, brushing a tear from my cheek.
As Blaze honks the horn impatiently from behind the wheel of Fox’s car, Fox climbs into the passenger seat.He leans out the window, his eyes never leaving mine as the car pulls away.I stand there, watching until the car disappears from view.
The moment I’m alone, the tears come.I rush back to our apartment, collapsing on the couch and letting myself fall apart.I know we’ll be okay—I know we’ll make it through this.But right now, it feels like my heart is leaving with him.
51
New Beginning
Istuffanothersliceof pepperoni pizza into my mouth as Landon drones on about school.He’s complaining about how hard senior year is, but my mind is somewhere else entirely.It’s been over a month since Fox left for med school in Portland, and I swear I’ve never felt lonelier.Sure, we FaceTime every night, and he talks me to sleep when the silence in the apartment gets too loud.But it’s not the same.I miss him—his laugh, his presence, the way he makes everything feel okay.
“Are you even paying attention?”Landon asks, snapping me back to reality.
I sigh, putting the slice down.“Sorry.I’ve just been…”
“Thinking about Fox,” he finishes for me.“We know.You miss him, but that doesn’t mean you have to zone out every time we hang out.”
It’s not like I haven’t tried to snap out of it.I’ve tried everything.But it feels like I left a part of myself with him in Portland.The apartment feels empty, hollow even.My friends stop by to keep me company—sometimes Landon stays the night—but when I’m alone, I end up in Fox’s bed.It still smells like him.I hug his pillow like a lifeline while we talk on FaceTime until I fall asleep.
“It’s hard, Landon,” I admit.“At least you have Blaze.”
“Barely,” Landon retorts.“He’s always working, and I’m drowning in school.We don’t see each other as much as you think.”
“It’s still not the same,” I insist.“YouhaveBlaze.”
“You’re such a lovebird,” Landon teases, smirking.“You should get a little award for ‘Most Whipped Boyfriend.’”
I glare at him.This isn’t funny.Fox is the only guy I’ve ever been with, the only guy I’ve ever loved.Being apart like this… it’s breaking me.And on top of that, my dad’s sick, still spewing his hatred and judgment even on his deathbed.He called me last week to tell me I should “make peace with God before it’s too late.”It was infuriating, but mostly, it was heartbreaking.
“Hey, girls!”Leanne’s loud, familiar voice snaps me out of my thoughts.She struts over to our table in the café, dropping her bag onto the floor before stealing a slice of pizza from my plate.
“Aww, look at you!”she coos.“All lovey-dovey.You miss him, don’t you?”
I roll my eyes, but her teasing makes me smile.
