Page 17 of Prince of the Northwest Forest
“Do you … Did you?” I ask.
Kalle watches the bunny hop down the side of the hill on a game trail through the underbrush. “I was wishing him well. Sometimes the hares are kind of jerks. But that one’s nice.”
That’s a weird thing to say, but I don’t need to comment on it.
On second thought, yes, I do. “Can you talk to the animals?”
“Yes. I can talk with most animals.” Kalle says it matter-of-factly. As if he didn’t just blow my mind.
“You can talk with animals,” I whisper weakly. I suppose a forest prince who speaks to animals isn’t the strangest thingI’ve ever heard of. What’s next, a guy who breathes underwater? “Was it my imagination, or did the pigeons bow down to you? I thought I saw them do that around the statue in the plaza.”
“They do. They are very kind to show their respect.”
“So you’re the prince of urban pigeons, too?”
He looks at me, amused. “No. Being prince of the Northwest Forest encompasses all living beings in the forest. I suppose the pigeons are simply being polite. I know more of their cousins, the wood doves.”
“Is that how all animals treat you?”
He looks up at the sky, thinking. “Most of them, yes. At least in my realm. A few have an attitude problem, but the animal kingdom doesn’t really have issues like that. They lack guile. They are just … themselves. What you see is what you get.” He holds an arm out. “Please meet my security: Hazel the fox and Martin the elk.”
The elk (not a moose) is nibbling on a berry bush as we walk. The fox is trotting along ahead of us, her ears twitching.
“Nice to, uh, meet you,” I say. “Although do they understand me?”
“No. The ability to talk with them is something unique to me and certain other members of the aristocracy.”
“Figures it would be something like that. So, just your family?”
“No. There are also some inhabitants of an underwater kingdom who can talk to marine animals. And then there are the fae, of course,” he adds as an afterthought.
I need to be sure. “You’re not fae?”
Please, no.
Kalle shakes his head. “Definitely not.”
My shoulders slump in relief. “I’m so glad. Are you a wizard?”
“No. Not a sorcerer, either.”
“What’s the difference?”
He shrugs. “Not much. Just the source of their magic, whether it’s from spells or nature. Sorcerers use nature magic.”
It would be kind of cool if he were a sorcerer. I mean,magic. Though his ability is interesting enough. “I’ve always wished I could know what animals were thinking. I suppose most people do.”
Kalle gives me a wry look. “They’re often snarky. And they can be very obnoxious.” The trail is getting steeper. Large rocks along the sides look like they might be nice to sit upon for a moment and catch my breath, but the view will be better from the top.
I think about what he just said. “In movies, animals are always so sweet and cute.”
“Some are. Some are complete and total douchebags. You have no idea.”
My mouth drops open. “What do they say?”
Kalle sighs. “The animal kingdom is amazingly full of jerks. I’m friends with this ermine who wants to kill everyone. I have to talk him out of a crime spree a few times a year. And there’s this snowshoe hare I know who wants to sex up absolutely every single being. It’s too much. I don’t want to know what they’re thinking, but they insist on telling me.” He pauses. “It’s not all bad, though. I requested the groundskeeping job at the hotel because I knew I could reason with the gophers. So that’s useful.”
“Most people dream of being able to talk with animals. I never imagined they would be annoying.”
