Page 79 of Curious
“And no one ever renegotiates contracts,” Charlie says, smearing some brie onto a cracker.
I roll my eyes. “Smartass.”
“That’s not all that’s smart.”
Reyna rolls her eyes. “That kind of contribution isn’t needed, Charlie.” She turns her attention back to me. “I think Shelby likes you, so I wouldn’t think he’d want to end things with you.”
“Right? But he says he can’t believe I’d truly choose him,” I say. “I have to figure out how to convince him. That’s what I’m here for. Help with that.”
Sipping my beer, I stare out her window. It’s dark out, now that we’re getting close to December.
“So you’re asking for us to come up with a grand gesture?” Reyna asks.
“Yeah. I want to show Shelby I love him.”
“Love?” Charlie asks.
“Yes,love. Keep up. I love him.”
And, fuck, I do. When I think about living without him, of not having him in my life, it makes my entire body hurt, not just my heart.
“Shelby’s the one who’s good at that kind of stuff,” Charlie says.
“I know,” I say, trying not to whine. “I can build things, but I’m sure he could put together a flash mob or order skywriting, or do something else super impressive to get the point across that I love him and want to be with him for the rest of my life.”
“Telling him how you feel isn’t enough?” Reyna studies my face, then tsks. “You haven’t told him you love him, have you?”
“No,” I admit. “Okay, I can tell him. But … I don’t know. Should I buy him a better ring? I’m feeling a little guilty about the generic Costco rings. Or should I make him something? Do an Ad/VICE video?”
Charlie coughs. “That worked for Danny, but I’m not sure it’s right for you.”
“Shelby doesn’t seem like the type who needsthings,” Reyna says. “He needs to be loved. Maybe you tell him you’re in this for the long haul and ask him to try just one more day with you. Pretty soon those days add up to a life together. I mean, that’s what’s happened to Mom and Dad.” She smiles at me. “Go tell him how you feel.”
But this is where I freeze. “How do I know that he still wants me? What if it’s like …”
“Like Leah? Who made you think she was in love with you, but when push came to shove, she didn’t want to marry you?”
I nod. In this moment, I feel more vulnerable with my siblings than I ever have in my entire life. I’m the oldest, and I’ve always been their protector.
I guess now I’m going to find out if they are mine.
“Big brother, you’re as bad as Shelby is right now. You’re ignoring the evidence right in front of you that Shelby loves you, too. You’re not believing that he wants to be with you—”
“He presented me with divorce papers—”
“But he didn’t want to. He felt he had to. You’re minimizing how he cared for you when you were injured. How his eyes light up when you walk in the room. How I’ve never seen him as happy as he is when he’s with you.” She gives me another supportive smile. “You need to take the risk, and he just might surprise you. In any case, there’s no other way to find out how he feels.”
“At least we know he’s not going to ditch you at the altar,” Charlie says.
I shoot him a glare. “Thanks for that.”
Charlie nods. “Reyna’s right. From what I can see, Shelby is in love with you. You’re in love with him. So I’m not seeing the big problem.”
“I don’t know. Don’t you think he deserves someone … better?” I gulp.
“Who better than you? Do you trust anyone else to protect him?” Charlie demands.
“No.” Hell no. I’ll keep away anyone who tried.
