Page 56 of Curious
“Kinda. It’s more of a dull ache, and if I keep it immobilized”—I gesture to the boot—“I’m good.”
“He wouldn’t tell us if it’s too much, would he?” Shelby asks Charlie.
“Nope,” Charlie says. He studies me. “But staying still would drive you up the wall, wouldn’t it?”
I nod. “I can’t stay put.”
“Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re in too much pain,” Shelby says. “And that you’ll take a break when you need to.”
I don’t really want to promise that, but I also don’t want my ankle to get worse. I swallow. “Yeah, okay. I promise. I do think it’s pretty well on the way to healing, and I don’t put weight on it, even if I’m moving around.”
Shelby looks mollified, and Charlie promises to pester me about it going forward.
Shelby insists on buying us all dinner—he runs out and brings back a bunch of tacos, which we scarf down—and then Charlie leaves and Shelby and I shower together. We can’t keep our hands off each other. I kiss him under the water, needing to touch his naked skin.
“Turn around,” I whisper, “let me work those muscles.”
“You could do more than that,” he says with a laugh, which turns into a smirk as I suck on the back of his neck and then give his shoulders and back a massage.
“Cam,” he whines. “I need you.”
I spin him around. “We’re clean enough.”
We hurry out of the shower, dicks hard, and race to bed, our bodies clean and worn out. And yet I still have the energy to make him come.
I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want Shelby.
And I want to keep him.
* * *
Over the next few weekends, we get the house into much better shape, and it feels like my life is coming together, too. After Leah, I’d torn everything apart, but now I’m rebuilding the way I want it to be. It doesn’t quite look like I imagined it would. But no creative project ever does. I guess I just have to celebrate what shows up—and that goes for Shelby’s and my relationship as well as the house.
It’s dawning on me that Shelby and I feel real. Like he’s my boyfriend. Like we’re dating.
My front brain tells me that I should have some issue with that. I’ve never been with a man before. I used to identify as straight. Am I supposed to have a crisis?
I’m not going to have a crisis.
I like my husband-maybe-boyfriend. He’s caring and resourceful. He handles things and is generous and chips in. So maybe we can keep this thing how it is between us?
When Charlie puts the new Ad/VICE video up, it gets a lot of views, as usual. I don’t take that for granted—viewers can always go away—but for now, the CoopBros account helps us get a little bit of sponsorship money, and I use my portion to reinvest in the house.
What I’d anticipated—but hadn’t fully appreciated—was how much interest commenters would have in Shelby.
“Who’s the cutie pie?”
“OMG. Charlie, is that your boyfriend?”
“Does the twink come with the house?”
And so on.
I let most internet comments go, otherwise they’d bother me forever, but when it comes to Shelby, I want to put a fence around him with a sign on it that says MINE. I don’t want anyone to say mean things about him, but I also don’t want anyone else to desire him. And I certainly don’t want any of them to think he’s Charlie’s.
Charlie, of course, thinks that all this is hilarious.
But he doesn’t know how much I really like my husband.
