Page 96 of Studious
Ispend Saturday working around the house, doing chores for my mom on autopilot. She sees my eyes, red from crying last night, but she doesn’t ask me any questions. Which is good, because I don’t think I could answer them.
Why, if we did what we said we were going to do—Danny taught me how to be self-assured and prepared me to go out and date other people—does it feel sowrong?
It’s because I went and fell for him. I’m completely in love with Danny Villaseñor. I love how he takes care of me. He’s the kindest, most patient man I’ve ever met. He never mocks me. He doesn’t belittle me or minimize my feelings. He does the opposite, making me feel like I’m his whole world.
My phone buzzes. Mason. When I answer with a gloomy “Hi, Mason,” he immediately asks, “What’s wrong?”
I sigh. “I fell in love with Danny.”
“Right. You said that last time we talked, but you sounded a lot happier about it then.”
“And I think he cares about me.”
“Still not seeing the problem here. That’s a good start, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Tell me why.”
“Because we never agreed to have a relationship, and what we were doing morphed into something more, and I think that scared him. He told me how badly he was hurt in the past.”
“So you think he’s too scared to love?”
“Yeah.” My voice is husky.
“But people change.Youchanged.”
“Yes, people can change, but will I be wasting my time if I wait for something that may not happen? He told me to go see other people. Hanging around until he changes his mind or has some sort of epiphany seems pathetic.”
“Or, it’s what people do when they like each other.”
I groan. “I have to let him go. I can’t be clingy.”
“You shouldn’t be clingy or stalkery, but you can try to make him understand you’re not interested in dating other people. Don’t make fear-based decisions, Alden.”
“Even if he is?”
“Yes. Just because he’s being a doofus doesn’t mean you should follow his example. Talk to him.”
“I did talk to him. And he said he wanted to take a step back.”
“Well, I think you’re making a mistake if you go along with that. I think you should pay for skywriting to tell him you love him. Or put it on the DodgerVision screen at Dodger Stadium.”
I scoff. “That’s a good way to get me super embarrassed.”
“Love can be embarrassing. Ask me how I know.”
“How do you know?”
“Do you remember Ben from high school?”
I think back. Mason had a crush on Ben at the beginning of our freshman year, but Ben switched schools. “Yeah, I remember.”
“He’s in Paris.”
Despite myself, I let out a yelp. “No way!”
He tells me a story involving Ben, food poisoning, and a trip to the Rodin museum, and while I still feel crappy about my own situation, I’m happy that my friend might have a second chance at love.
