Page 75 of Studious
I nod. “I love him. Uh, his work, I mean.” I feel my cheeks going pink.
“Me, too. At any rate, if any client ever needed a hug, it’s Johnny, and he normally makes sure to come here when I’m working so I can give him one.”
“Do you have a thing for him?”
“No, it’s platonic. I told you, I only attract them if they’re unavailable. Johnny’s single and gay. At any rate, I’d told him I’d be here today, but I’d forgotten about a dentist appointment. So I’m making him a hug book.” He holds it out.
He’s taken blue construction paper, folded it in half and stapled it, and then taped on all sorts of cheesy hug pictures from the internet. T. rexes hugging with arm extenders. Cats and cartoon dogs hugging. It’s the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen.
“You’re going to make him cry,” I say.
“He deserves to feel loved.”
I smile at him and go down to my office with a warm feeling in my chest. Not only am I getting more comfortable in my own skin and with my love tutor, I’m surrounded by pretty nice people, too.
If only it could all last.
CHAPTER20
Danny
After work, I go over to Alden’s house and help him cook and clean for his mom. Then we sit outside, drinking water—because Alden—and talking. There’s a nervous flutter in my stomach, because I know we need to discuss a few things, but I don’t really want to. Still, part of being a lawyer is not avoiding the uncomfortable stuff. I’m not helping people if I can’t give them bad news.
So I do the stiff-upper-lip thing and say it. “We haven’t been having you interact enough with people other than me.”
Alden nods. “Yeah, I know.”
“Should we do a video about this conversation?” I ask. We’ve been falling behind. I haven’t wanted to talk about what Alden and I have been doing together. This, though. This is the point of the exercise.
And my follower count is stuck at 357. Nowhere near the number I need. Still, I’m not giving up.
“Sure,” Alden says. Though he gives me a bright smile, I can tell he’s not into it.
I’m not sure I am, either. In fact, I haven’t recorded anything in a while. I guess because it felt too invasive. I haven’t wanted to hurt Alden, and it feels like I might if I keep going with the videos.
So I put my phone away. “Nah, let’s do it later. But I do think we should work on you going out with someone else. Do you want me to set you up with someone?”
The idea seems so wrong.
He shakes his head. “I’ve been set up too many times. I don’t want to do that again. It never works out.”
“The point of this was for you to be comfortable around other people. You’re a lot more confident now. You might have a completely different experience on a date than you have in the past.”
“The point of this was for me to become a player.”
“I don’t feel like I’m doing very well at helping you with that, since, you know, you’ve only messed around with me.”
Alden bites his lip. I can tell he wants to say something, but he’s holding his tongue. “Okay,” he finally says.
It’s like the way he texts.
“Is being a playboy what you want?” I ask. “Not what you think you should want, but what you truly want?” He looks at me, and I can see the anguish in his face. I want to kiss it out of him. “Talk to me.”
He sighs. “Deep down, I think what I want is to be comfortable in my own skin. And you’re helping me get there. I’m not stuttering or tripping as much as I used to. I look in the mirror, and I like what I see. Things are starting to feel better. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good at asking a guy out, but I think I could do it.”
“Practice should help with that.” Just because I’m thinking of him as mine doesn’t mean he really is. I’m like a mama bird, teaching my hatchling to fly. Sooner or later, I’m going to have to shove him out of the nest and trust that he’s not going to hit the ground. “We can start small. What if we go to a coffee shop, and I’ll sit at a table in case you need me. I’ll do some work or something. But you can just go talk with whoever. Hopefully it won’t be a Loki worshipper.”
He nods. “Okay. We can do that tomorrow at lunch.”
