Page 2 of Studious
No one’s drinking alcohol or anything like that, but the whole vibe feels more grown up than I’m comfortable with, given the couples making out and not an adult to be seen. Oh, wait. It looks like maybe Kayla’s parents are kicking back in a TV room off to the side while the party goes on around them. Their presence makes me feel a little better that this isn’t going to get too out of control. I relax slightly.
We walk into the large, open kitchen where there’s sodas and pizza and bowls of chips and snacks. On a side table sits a big sheet cake, too, from a nice bakery. Mason looks at it longingly. “Valley Bakery! I love that place. I’d like to work there someday.”
“Don’t you want to own your own place?” I ask.
He waves at someone across the room. “Have to start somewhere. And you? What do you wanna do after high school?”
“Maybe something with math.” I understand math. There’s a right answer every time. I don’t have to guess or interpret anything.
“Figures. I could’ve guessed that. C’mon.” Mason tugs me to a bar where soda bottles, cups, and ice are set up so we can make our own Italian sodas. I let him make me a vanilla cream soda, and we wind through the party, him waving at a few kids we know. But they’re overshadowed by the ones I don’t know. The kind who never speak to me.
“What do I do?” I whisper. “At a party, I mean.”
“You talk to people.” Seeing the panic on my face, he says, “Or you listen to other people talk. I don’t know if they’re going to play any games.” He cranes his neck. “Hmm.”
“I just walk up to someone I barely know and say… what? ‘How’d you do on that Spanish test?’ Like any of these people care.” I set down my drink and rub my hands over my face. “I’m sorry. I’m a disaster. A disaster gay. That’s me.”
“Your issues have nothing to do with you being gay. Everyone’s cool with it. Find some guy to talk to. Or whoever. Just have fun.”
“Have fun,” I huff. “I’d have more fun playingAngry Birds.”
“Okay, grouch.” He gives me an exaggerated pout. “Let’s go outside by the pool. You’ll feel better with some fresh air and more space.”
I nod and follow. Even though he’s pushing me, he’s taking care of me, and I appreciate it. I know he’ll always have my back.
We skirt a group of kids who often say mean things in class and go to the large backyard. I feel like I escaped a firing line.
Here, I guess it’s better. I’m not stepping over anyone’s feet, but I also don’t see any friendly smiles. Everything in me wants to turn around and leave and never come back. But Mason’s right. I should at least try to be a normal, social human being. I smile at the closest kid, and I get a smile back. Baby steps.
It’s a sunny, clear Southern California day, but there’s a cool breeze so no one’s swimming. The guy I think is cute, Sean Moses, is standing in a group off to the side, one hand behind his back, laughing at something another kid said. Mason and I are headed to an area with unoccupied chairs when we hear a loud voice.
“Everyone, gather round!” The birthday girl, Kayla, is standing on a low patio table, waving at everyone. “Time for some fun!”
“What are we doing?” a popular girl named Sofia asks, chewing gum and looking up from her phone.
“Spin the bottle.”
Sofia grins, and a few other kids look smug, but my stomach clenches. I’ve heard it’s some kind of kissing game, but I don’t know the rules and I don’t know how to play and I don’t—
“It’s going to be okay,” Mason assures me, sensing my distress. “All that happens is you spin the bottle and kiss whoever the bottle points to.”
“B-but it would be my first kiss.” I glance around in a panic. “I don’t know if I want anyone here to be my first kiss.”
“You’re making it out to be too big a deal,” he says coolly. He’s kissed two girls and one guy, so he’s got way more experience than me.
I take a deep breath, but dread is still tightening my throat. I look for an exit. Maybe I should call my mom after all.
But then Sean sidles up and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Spin the bottle. You in?” Kayla murmurs.
He gives her his popular-boy smile. “Sure.”
Mason elbows me meaningfully.
I whisper, “But how would I even know if it would land on him? What if it lands on someone I don’t want to kiss?”
“You don’t have to kiss them on the lips. You can just kiss their cheek or whatever.”
