Page 101 of Studious
A big grin breaks across her face.
“I need to talk to him.”
“Then go get him,” Mom says. I nod and race back to my room.
Cool kids stay home, right? Cool kids wait for people to come to them.
I’ve never been a cool kid, and I never will be. Or maybe I’ve always been cool.
Or maybe… it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with Danny.
I can’t wait another minute. I tear around my room, looking for clothes to wear, because I can’t show up in sweats. Shoving a foot into one leg of my jeans, I hop around trying to pull them up and find a shirt and my keys at the same time.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Is that the kind of man who can go and declare love to Danny? Am I worthy of him?
Maybe that’s not the right question to ask. Maybe the question is, can I live without him? While technically, yes, I can, I don’t want to. I’d feel like part of myself was missing.
That’s the answer. I don’t have to.
I smooth down my hair and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. But then I realize my heart is beating so fast I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t delay this any longer.
And that’s what I’m doing. I’m delaying.
Because what if there’s some mistake? What if he just posted that video to go viral? For the likes. What if I’m the only one of us who’s miserable? What if I make a fool of myself by chasing after him?
Fuck it. I’ll take that chance.
I race across town to his house and jog up the front steps, raising my hand to knock on the door, but just then it opens. Danny is standing there, keys in hand, looking unbelievably handsome.
I blink at him. He blinks at me.
I let out a stuttering laugh. “Uh, hey. Danny. What are you…?”
“I was heading to your place,” he says. He takes a deep breath, his eyes on me. His lips part, like he can’t believe I’m here. He steps back and gestures. “Come in.” He looks nervous.
“Did you mean it,” I start, but he interrupts me.
“Alden, I have to apologize to you. I wasn’t honest with you. Or myself. I wasn’t honest about my feelings for you.”
My stomach dips and soars, wondering what he’s going to say.
CHAPTER30
Danny
Icup Alden’s face in my hands. “Sweetheart.”
He winces, and it makes my heart ache that I caused him pain. I go on, the words pouring out of me in a very unplanned torrent. “I don’t know how this is going to work out, or whether I’ve already screwed things up too badly, but you’re worth the risk. If I make a fool of myself, so be it. I’m an adult. I can do this.”
“Do what?” he whispers.
“Tell you how much I love you.”
He inhales sharply. “For real?”
“So very, very much.” My hands are shaking. My voice cracks. “You’re the only one I want to be with.” I smile, though I think it might be slightly manic. He’s looking at me with wide eyes. My heart thunders. “I thought our arrangement was something superficial and just for fun. I thought you were sweet, and so cute and innocent, and I’d help you out. With someone else. But now I can’t stand that thought. I don’t think I deserve you, but I’m a jealous enough bastard that I don’t want anyone else to have a chance with you. I want to be the one who captures all your kisses. I want to be the one in bed with you. I want to be the one to cook you breakfast and have you tell me every baseball statistic you know. You fascinate me, and I don’t think that will ever change. Because I get you, and I think you get me.”
He doesn’t answer, and it’s starting to make me queasy. My stomach drops to my ankles.
