Page 50 of The Stars in the Sky
"Fuck," he said, pulling his arm back and taking a step away from me. "Serves me right." Then he continued, louder, and getting angry, "So let me get this straight. I treat you like shit, you want to stay. I'm nice to you, you want to go. What the fuck do I have to do, Marie? I like you and I think you like me. I want you. I want you in my life and I want you in my bed. You, the hot woman who saves animals and kids. You, the one who fights for what you believe in. You, the one that I know what I see is what I get. You deserve to be treated right. I'm trying to do that and you say you have to go?"
I tried to melt into the wall. "That's crazy, isn't it?" I whispered.
"Yeah," he whispered back, angry and biting and in my face. "I don't want to go back to treating you like shit. I want to take care of you. I want to fucking worship the ground you walk on."
Worship the ground I walk on.
Shit.
We stared at each other.
"Look," he said, pissed. "Forget it. Take a break. Go back to the bunkhouse. If you want to be with me, come back. I'll wait. Go. Just fucking go."
I opened the door and went to leave, pausing in the door. I looked at my feet, willing them to move forward, to leave. Just like I always leave, like I move on.
Fuck.
I was pushing him away.
I was pushing away the guy who made my pulse run. Who made me more turned on than anyone. Who surprised me with his thoughtfulness. Who said more by his actions than by his words.
The guy who was raised by a double-amputee, Spanish-speaking mother, and opened up his home to disabled kids and kids who’d never have a chance to ride a horse otherwise.
The guy who turned down millions of dollars because it meant more to him to have a farm than to have a ton of cash.
Who swore to me every time he was with me that he wanted me more and more.
Who argued with me about my politics, but when it came down to it, he was right there with me, saving the world in his own way.
All of a sudden, the thought of spending the night alone came to me. A night not in Will's arms. No Will to ask me how I was doing. No Will to dance with. No Will to fuck. If I couldn't do it for one night, I couldn't do it ever again.
A breeze came in through the door and whipped around me.
No.
Fuck no.
I couldn't do it.
Stepping back into his house and slamming the door shut, I turned to him and burst into tears.
"I can't," I whispered. "I can't stay away from you."
I ran into his arms and he nuzzled his face into my hair. "I can't stay away from you either," he said gruffly, squeezing me tight. "What do you need, Marie? Go for a walk? Go for a drive? Something to eat?"
"I need you to make love to me. And mean it."
"That can be arranged," he said huskily.
