Page 44 of The Stars in the Sky
I made an attempt to get the group to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in a three-part round, but I had to do it all by myself, because all of the adults said, "I don't sing." Will looked at me with a "No way in hell am I singing" look on his face.
This seriously pissed me off. He really was an asshole sometimes.
But these were kids. Everyone knew the song, right? My singing voice wasn't great, but what good was a campfire if you didn't sing around it?
It didn't work. They just stared at me.
Will put his hand over his mouth, chuckling.
That wasn’t nice.
No one laughed at my jokes, except Cookie, who always looked like he wanted to laugh at me. God. These kids just didn't want to look uncool.
Will silently left in the middle of all this, clearly amused by my enthusiasm and the lack of response of the kids, and not helping in the slightest.
As he walked away, I saw him stifle a laugh as I tried, yet again, to get the kids to sing, saying "Come on, everyone! Let's do this!"
I needed help. I didn't need to be left struggling alone by the guy who wanted to get in my pants. Jerk.
After a few more attempts at group activities, I gave up, letting the kids just hang out around the campfire. Some took out their cell phones, while others chatted with each other. They seemed to like this better than an organized activity.
I implemented a no cell phone rule beginning immediately.
What a depressing end to the day. I wanted to make connections with the kids and have some fun. I did not want to be a freak show.
When the kids were finally in bed that night, I went to my bunk and crashed, tired, and for once not thinking about joining Will in his bed.
But I couldn't sleep. I was pissed.
I got more pissed the more that I thought about it.
Will should have set aside any embarrassment and supported me. I’d needed help getting these kids to open up and, instead, he’d left me.
I texted Amelia.
Will just treated me like shit.
What?! Honey. What did he do?
I had a bad first day with this group of city kids from Oakland and he just laughed at me and watched me crash and burn instead of helping to make it better.
You know what the right answer is, right? You need to talk with him. Guys can't read your mind and sometimes they don't know when they hurt you.
I sighed. She was right. She had such a healthy relationship with Ryan, she knew what to do. I got out of bed, put on flip flops, put my hair up in a messy bun on the top of my head, grabbed a hoodie, and headed over to Will's house.
When he opened the door, barechested, in sweats, he started to say, "Wondered if you were gonna come over—" but I pushed him inside, and started immediately talking to him in the hallway.
"I'm pissed at you. You treated me like shit tonight. Remember last week, when Clarissa said your hair sang that you were true and passionate and kind? Well it didn't feel like that. It felt like you were a jerk and an asshole. I needed some help and you didn't stick up for me. You treated me like I was the monkey exhibit at the zoo. And you want me to go out with you? Well this is why I won't. I'm just an amusing cunt to you, not girlfriend material. You don't say much, Silent Sam, so I watch your actions. And your actions tonight were shitty, Will."
He stared at me, his brown eyes big, and then he reached over to brush my cheek. I flinched and brushed his hand aside and continued, "I was being laughed at enough by the kids and they were completely disrespectful. These are tough kids, Will. They don't know about camp life. I bet a lot of them are raised by a single parent or a grandparent or have family members on drugs or aren't doing well in school because they have no support and no role models. I need to do silly things with them. Wholesome things. They don't need everything to be cynical."
Will let out a deep breath and put his head down. Then he raised his head and looked at me.
"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes softening.
"What?"
"I'm sorry," he repeated sincerely. "You're right, that was a dick move. Fucked up. Didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't realize—"
And then the house started shaking, the pictures started violently moving on the walls, the lamps started skidding toward the end of the table, and I heard the crash of glass breaking.
Earthquake!
