Page 98 of Sombra
Nineteen
Tavo - Flores
Kim fled to the bathroom and won’t let me in. While she could be sick, I don’t think so.
I’ve touched her enough recently to know she doesn’t have a fever. She’s not coughing.
Could she be with child?
Now I’m feeling nauseous,too.
While having a child would blow up my future plans like a firecracker at a town celebration, this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about it with Kim. Yet again, as I stand outside the bathroom door, I’m imagining her precious belly full of our kicking baby. A new de la Guerra with hazel eyes. Boy? Girl?
I don’t care.
I didn’t know I wanted a child until now. But I do.I fucking do. I’m already in love with it. Even if it’s the completely wrong time, it’s with the right woman. I know it down to the electron level of my cells.
First things first. I quietly knock on the door. I don’t want to create huge drama for her, I just want to help. “Kim? Can I get you something?”
“No.” Her faint, miserable voice wafts under the door like she’s curled up onthe floor, and that makes my heart hurt. I need to hold her in my arms. “Nothing.”
“Can I come in?”
“No!” She’s gathered strength in her tone, but it’s still off. My stomach sinks.
“Okay,” I say quietly. I lean against the wall outside, then slide down to the floor, facing the door, and wait. If anyone asks me why I’m loitering, I’ll tell them to go to hell. Also, fuck schooltoday. I need to take care of her. My poor little conejo.
The toilet flushes, then flushes again. If only she’d let me in. If only I could help her alleviate the pain. All I can think of is her. How do I help her?
Finally she emerges, and I struggle to get up, brushing off my hands and my clothes. “Kim?”
“I can’t talk to you,” she whispers. “Not now.” Her quiet pain is a daggerto my gut, but I’m not going to let her suffer by herself.
I stand in front of her bedroom door. “No, amor. You are not well. I will care for you.”
The look she gives me is so full of pain, the dagger in my abdomen rips down my torso, tearing me in two. She opens her mouth to argue with me, but gives up and nods.
I don’t know if her giving up makes me hurt less or more. Iwant her fight back. Her spirit.
Not knowing what to do, I follow her into her room and shut the door behind us.
She beelines to her bed and curls up, holding her knees to her chest while I take my place at the foot of the bed. I reach out to touch her ankle and draw back. This balance between caring for her but not wanting to pressure her beyond her comfort level is driving me batshitcrazy. “Do you think …” I start. “Do you think it’s the flu?”
Lifting up her head, her tear-filled eyes meet mine. She shoves her face back into the pillow. “No.”
“Do you want to take the test? Do you still have it?”
A while passes before she answers. But she sits up and nods, hugging herself. Placing her feet on the floor, she starts to stand up, but I catch her wrist.
“Come here,” I say and tug her into my arms. She crawls into my lap, and I wrap my arms around her, cradling her with everything I have. Not just my body, but my love.
“What’s happening, Tavo?” Her voice is a low squeak.
“What’s happening is that no matter what, I will care for you. If you are sick with the flu, I’ll bring you soup. If it’s something else, we will … we willmake a joint decision. But no matter what, I am with you. Always. You are not alone. You are never alone.”
Kim doesn’t respond verbally. But her arms snake up around my neck, and she clings to me. “Okay.”
“Is the waiting making it worse?”
