Page 26 of The Ground Beneath Our Feet
Great.
I’d picked the best time to go on a diet. I just wanted to shove these in my mouth, hot and salty. What if these were the last French fries I’d ever eat? If I didn’t have them, I’d be missing out.
I surveyed the table. No one else had a crisis because of the French fries. Marie picked one up and popped it in her mouth, chewing slowly. Amelia held two daintily in her hands and nibbled. Lucy ignored them.
“Want one?” offered Marie, holding out the temptation, not knowing that she was holding out water to someone who’d just walked through the desert.
“I’m good,” I said. Willpower. I had willpower. I didn’t need French fries, even if they were the best ones ever made.
I sipped my sparkling water and eyed the fries. I just needed to be able to eat like a normal person. Was that too much to ask? “I’m trying to get in shape. Do any of you know where there’s a good gym?”
“I hear a lot of people go to Alex’s gym on Beach Street,” Amelia said.
“Have you thought about swimming?” asked Lucy. “That’s what I do. Or yoga.”
“Those don’t seem like they’d get results fast enough. I mean, look at me.”
“I don’t think you need to change anything,” said Lucy.
Marie nodded her head. “You’re hot, babe.”
“I wonder if your roommate can help you?” asked Amelia.
I shrugged. “Maybe. It would be funny to ask such a slob to help me get my life in order.”
“You never know,” said Lucy with a smile. “Sometimes the best things come from places you’d never expect.”
“Go, go, go!”
The humid, darkened room thumped and vibrated from the loud music. I spun the dial on the bike to the right, increasing the tension.
That was a bad idea.
It was the weekend, and I was in my first spin class. As part of my get svelte plan, I knew I needed to exercise, so I signed up for a free pass to the gym Amelia recommended.
Complete and utter fail.
My legs seized up as I clawed at the bike, trying to stay on, sweat pouring into my eyes. My rolls of fat bunched up around my waist, and my boobs pushed out my extra-extra-large T-shirt. I was thirsty. My crotch hurt from the seat made out of granite or something equally hard. My heart rate spiked out of control. I was going to vomit.
I hadn’t eaten anything today and I felt lightheaded. Everyone else in the class clearly knew what they were doing, but I didn’t. My thighs screamed.Iwanted to scream. God this hurt. Everywhere.
And it was going to hurt worse tomorrow.
I didn’t like this at all. It wasn’t working. I couldn’t keep this up for five more minutes, let alone the months that it was going to take me to lose the weight. I was trying to force my body into behaving, but it was rebelling. I had to stop.
Sweat poured down my face. I didn’t want to look at the instructor, but I couldn’t keep going on. I looked nothing like the bodies that advertised the place.
At least it was dark. No one could see my humiliation. No one could see my failure. No one could see my fat.
“Push it!” the teacher screamed.
I couldn’t push it. I was a failure.
This was it. The end.
I needed chocolate.
After class, I took a shower in the locker room, my towel not closing around my body. My flip flops made the tile slippery. Careful to keep the towel wrapped around me as much as I could, I got dressed quickly.
