Page 76 of The Ground Beneath Our Feet
She shook her head and backed away from me, that spitfire I knew she had coming out in a hiss. “Don’t you touch me. You’re a manwhore just like I thought.” She closed her eyes and turned her head to and fro like she couldn’t believe what she was thinking. “Cherry was becoming my friend, and now I find out she’s your ex-wife? You bounced from her to me. I don’t . . . You don’t care.” And she burst into heaving tears, but they were mixed with red hot anger bubbling up and coming out like lava.
“Don’t say I don’t care,” I argued back. “I care so much that I’m scared to be with you because I’m too much of a fuck up.”
“You are a fuck up,” she shrieked.
Ouch. I knew it. But still, I loved that she was finally telling me what she thought. That she wasn’t scared of me. That she wasn’t hiding her feelings and true thoughts like she did with everyone else. I had to tell her how I felt.
“Listen to me, Jessica. Ilikeyou. A lot. I want to be with you, only you. When I was with Cherry, I didn’t know you. But she’s all wrong for me. Since the moment I saw you, all I’ve thought about was you.”
She rolled her eyes.
“You knew I was coming in and calming you from your nightmares. But what you didn’t know was how many times I’ve jacked off to you. How many times at work I stare at your texts. I’ve memorized your face, I’m stuck on your scent, and I want nothing but to feel your body next to mine. Your magnificent self, Jessica. I want you.
“We both have histories. But we can’t blame each other for things in our past. It just explains who we are today. You are not your family. I am not my old relationship. We’re different people now, and we’re together, you and me.”
She shook her head. “I think you have a fetish for big girls. You’re a chubby chaser. You don’t like me for me, you like me for your weirdo ideas.”
I shook my head so rapidly I almost hurt my tongue. “You’re the furthest thing from a fetish. You’re just beautiful to me. That’s all. I don’t see just one size as the only size that’s beautiful. People—women—come in all shapes. Yours is particularly gorgeous.”
She stared at me and let out a sigh.
I continued, “If you want me to leave you alone tonight, I will. That’s how much I care about you. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. But you need to know that there isnothingbetween me and Cherry, not anymore. I was her meantime guy—the one she’d call for a quickie in the meantime when she was between boyfriends. An on-call fuck buddy. But there haven’t been any feelings between us in a very long time. We got together when she sold me this house. We stayed together for a very short time, but we’re too much alike in how we deal with problems, and too different in how we like to spend our days. She gave me nothing to aspire to be. You inspire me to be a better man every time I look at you.”
“You’re not mad at me for calling you a manwhore?” she whispered. “You still like me?”
I let out a laugh. “I haven’t even figured out if I’m pissed about that, but if I am, it has nothing to do with whether I still like you. People can like each other and get pissed with each other. It doesn’t have to always be perfect. That’s the truth.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
“Okay, what?”
“Okay,I want youin my life.”
I felt like a weight I hadn’t even known I was carrying fell off my shoulders and busted up in the street. In a flash, I gathered her in my arms, crashing my lips to hers. I kissed away her tears, wanting to kiss away her insecurities, too. I wanted her to know that I was falling for her, that I’d dedicate my life to doing whatever I could to keep her safe, happy, and healthy.
That she was mine.
Thankfully, she kissed me back just as vigorously, giving me that part of her that she hid from everyone else.
An honor.
And after the day we’d just had, I couldn’t keep my hands off her.
With an “Ooof” from her, I fell on top of her on the bed. I sucked on her lower lip, nibbled her ear, and caressed her neck. She grabbed my hair and pulled me to her.
Her clothes needed to come off, and so did mine.
“Spread your legs, baby,” I murmured, once we were undressed, and I kissed and licked my way from her ankles to the apex of her thighs. With my tongue, I pressed against her pussy, tasting her, and loving every part. She clutched my shoulders with her heels, pressing me into her while her fingernails scratched my scalp, and then she grabbed me by the ears and she came. Hard. When she came, the very air of the sunlit room stopped moving to watch her, because it was pure and lovely. Heaven.
Then I found a condom and put it on, entering her. She writhed under me joyfully, ecstatically. After our fight, we were suspended somewhere between making love and angry sex. I wanted to go gently, she kept goading me harder, faster, clawing at my back, taking out her frustrations and her feelings on me.
I loved it.
When she came again, just as beautifully as the first time, I couldn’t wait anymore. I looked into her eyes and saw no fear, no shutter, no sadness. Only the warmth of a woman I wanted to be with forever. And locked on her, I came, giving her all of me there was to give.
