Page 5 of The Ground Beneath Our Feet
That’s the point, I thought.
A tear threatened the corner of my eye, but a lifetime of suppressing emotions came to my rescue, and I managed to suck it in without anyone noticing and effectively canceled my dream.
I shoved another forkful of rice into my mouth. I knew this wouldn’t pan out.
My eyes caught hers. “I’m not going to accept. I can’t leave you.”
“You totally can,” said Brooks. “Sebastian and I can take over. You’ve done it long enough.”
My stomach twisted with the guilt of wanting to leave her, of wanting something different than what I had.
But she beamed at me. “Mija. I always knew that you’d get a good job. You don’t need to worry about me. You should go. I’ll be alright. I only want what’s best for you.”
I knew that.
Letting out my breath, I looked at her and nodded. And I gave my brothers grateful smiles.
I was doing it.
Then I remembered something. “I found a room for rent.”
“That’s good, darling.”
Taking a deep breath, I went for it. “My roommate is a guy, though.”
“Oh, mija. Are you sure that’s safe? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Brooks looked at me. “Is he old or young?”
“I don’t know. He says he’s a professional, and doesn’t drink or do drugs.”
“Thank God for that,” said my mom. “I don’t know. I don’t like the idea of you living with a man.”
“She lives with us,” argued Sebastian.
“Astrangeman,” corrected Brooks.
“I know,” I said. “But I have a good feeling about this place. It’s a really pretty house, close to my new work, and I can afford it. And I’m sure this guy will be working all the time, so I’ll never see him.”
Please, Mom. Let me go. Let me live for me, not you.
My entire life, she’d been there . . . but she hadn’t. She worried about me, but she didn’t protect me when she should have. And now she was protecting me when I didn’t need it.
“I trust you,” she said. “If you think it will be a good place, then try it. Heaven hopes you don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
I hoped I didn’t make those mistakes either. And even though I didn’t want her to prohibit me from going—and I was an adult so she couldn’t—I was disappointed that she didn’t try harder to keep me there.
Sheneededme.
Right?
After dinner, I emailed Mikey back, accepting the room, and I PayPal’d him the money. I texted Monica,I have permission.
She texted back.
Atta girl.
GO. LIVE. YOUR. LIFE.
