Page 35 of The Ground Beneath Our Feet
I actually looked pretty good.
I opened the door. My three fairy godmothers stood there, and squealed when they saw me.
“Girl, you look fine,” said Marie. “You have to get this.”
Lucy handed me a pair of dull gold heels. “Try these on.”
With the extra height, I felt like I was on top of the world. I twirled around in front of the mirror.
“See,” said Amelia. “I knew you’d have it in you. Now let’s spend some more of Ryan’s money.”
Three days later, I hobbled into Southwinds Coffee with Amelia.
Mikey had been working me hard all week, and there was no part of my body that didn’t ache. He’d made me go to the gym, where I lifted weights and did endless squats and lunges. We’d run every other evening. My shins complained. My thighs hated me. Parts of my body ached that I’d never used before in my life. I was as stiff as an old man on a cold night.
Even waiting in line for my drink was painful.
This time there was a tall, golden surfer boy behind the counter, who lit up when he saw Amelia. “That’s Ryan,” she said. “This is his place.”
“Hey, Movie Star,” he said to her, and gave her a thorough kiss, not caring that anyone in the shop saw them.
Then he looked at me. “You must be Jessica.”
“Thank you so much for my new clothes,” I said, faltering a little in front of him. He radiated a sweetness and a power unlike anyone I’d ever met before. But I was wearing clothes he’d bought me—a cute black pantsuit that gave me a better figure, with killer shoes. When I wore this, I had some sass in my walk.
“You’re totally welcome. I’m happy to do it.”
The bell to the coffee shop opened, and Cherry walked in, wearing a cheetah print pencil skirt, a black, skintight turtleneck blouse, and gold stilettos. Again, she looked like a woman who was confident in her own skin. I wanted to spend more time with her, have her teach me how to wiggle in my body the way she did. How to enjoy having people look at you.
While I thought about this, I straightened up in my own clothes and pushed my chest out, subtly.
She got in line behind me and said, “It’s you again! Hey, lovey!”
“Hey,” I said shyly.
“You look great!”
“Thank you. Do you have any more Mae West quotes for me?” I asked.
“I have tons. What about, ‘All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with someone else.’”
I laughed.
“Or, ‘I didn’t discover curves. I only uncovered them.’”
“That’s awesome,” said Ryan.
She eyed him. “Or, ‘I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.’”
He laughed a full throaty, raspy laugh, and Amelia snickered at him. She returned her attention to Cherry.
“Here’s my last one for today. ‘I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.’”
“Oh my gosh!” I said, and giggled.
She wiggled behind me and laughed. “Mae West is my goddess. She loved herself. I love myself, and it keeps me sane.”
I’d been reading about losing weight online, and I kept seeing how the first step to lose weight for real is to accept your body first. That nothing would change until you accepted your own body.
But it was bull, because there’s no way in hell I’d ever stop hating my body in this form. Maybe if I were her, I could do it. But not as me.
Still, I wondered, as I took my skinny latte back to the office, what it would be like if I gave it a shot.
