Page 22 of Trouble in Love
“That wasn’t thinking. Just remembering.” Nodding, Nate ducked beneath a bench made from an upside-down surfboard with its fin removed and watched me from his compact kitchen comprised of one cupboard, a sink, and, of course, a beer fridge.“My dad was a complete asshole and never did a thing for my mom. Trust me, you’re outstanding and havenothingto worry about.”
Trying in vain to ward off the headache just thinking about my father almost always caused, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. When they popped back open, my host stood before me, holding a tall glass of orange juice and my new favorite food, a sweet muffin full of white chocolate with bits of raspberry. “I am not going to fit into my gear if I keep inhaling these. Where do you get them?”
Pride colored his cheeks, and a sly, mischievous grin spread as he rocked back on his heels and scratched his belly. “I make ‘em. My mum taught me cause they’re Gidge’s favorite.”
“No shit! You make these?” Dad’s bad juju melted away as I took a mouthful of sweet yet tart, fluffy heaven. “I swear to God, you could make a fortune off these in Brooklyn.”
“Nah, I keep ‘em for my lady. And I guess for you, too, now.”
“Dude, I’m honored. And see, the fact that you learned to bake your wife’s favorite treat is a perfect example of the care you have for her. You’re a great husband and dad.”
A second bite was working its way down to my gut when the door creaked open, and a round little face popped through. “Hi, Emmy,” Nate said without looking.
“Hi, Daddy. Mummy said to see if you were hiding. And if you were hiding to say, ‘Daddy, stop hiding.’”
“Did she now?” In two strides, Nate was at the door, and Emily, one of his older girls, was in his arms. “Well, I guess I better stop hiding then.”
“Can we go to the beach today, Dad? Me and Britty wanna surf.”
“Sorry, Em. Luca, Uncle Finny, and I are going to Sydney, remember?”
Shit!With the chaos of the morning, I’d forgotten all about Sydney. About Jasmine. About ‘up yourself’. It was the longest time without her body crossing my mind sincethatnight, but boy, was it back.
“Kiddo,” continued Nate. “I promise to take you after kinder on Monday.”
“Super promise?”
“Super promise.”
With his blonde clone hanging around his neck like a cute little monkey, Nate grabbed another muffin, tore it into pieces, and popped the smallest chunk into Emily’s open mouth.
“Hey Nate,” I asked, leaning into his side just in case my question was not kid-friendly.
“You never did tell me what ‘up yourself’ meant.”
“That’s right. And you never told me who said it?”
My breath caught in my throat, the feel of Jasmine’s hair brushing my cheek overwhelming. “This girl I met in Sydney.” I blushed, “She was amazing, and we’ve texted back and forth a bit, and today she said, ‘up yourself much?’”Whistling through his teeth, Nate gave me a slow clap. “One night in the country and you’ve got yourself a girl? You didn’t muck around, did you?”
“I’m not sure, because I don’t know what that means either.”
Nate laughed, but Emily… sure, she may have been four, but the kid gave me a look reeking of judgment.
“Take a seat, big fella.” He motioned towards the sofa with a nod, “Emmy and me are going to teach you some lingo.”
Polly
Cowboy: I just want you. Only you.
Those six words not only stayed with me throughout my day, but they also fried my brain. At the market, when I carefully selected my favorite organic ingredients for a new recipe idea, I whispered it to each item popped into my string bag. “I just want you, pomegranates. Only you.”
When I stopped to fuel up my beloved Corolla and selected the right type of fuel that had her ancient engine humming like an angel, it slipped out again. “I want you, ultra-premium. Only you.”
The whole thing was ridiculous. Things like this didn’t happen to me. Never before had I been someone’s choice, and honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it.
Maybe because you don’t deserve it.
That thought was a constant, too. And while I may not have felt good enough on the inside, Goddamnit if I wouldn’t look it on the outside.
