Page 99 of Rules in Love
“You too, buddy. You too.” The handshake was lasting way too long, and Brett’s eyes were fixed on me the entire time. “Flimm, right?” the wanker asked, nodding in my direction.
“Finn. Finn Austen,” I said, snatching his hand from Teddy’s and squeezing the absolute crap out of it. “Scarlett’s boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend, huh? News to me.”
“Well, all the important people in her life know. In fact, they’re all inside while you are out here.”
“Dad!” The door swung open, and little excited footsteps hurried down the stairs. “I didn’t know you were coming, Dad. Can you stay and watch football with us? I have been teaching Finn the rules, and he’s taught me about Aussie football. They don’t wear any padding and are real men, you know.”
“Really? Well, I played football all through high school. Maybe I can teach Finn a thing or two.”
I had several witty comebacks lined up and ready to go.You can only teach me one or two things about a game I know nothing about? Fuck you!But Scarlett appeared at her door and called us back inside. Cross-armed and leaning against the doorframe, a less-than-impressed Scarlett smiled half-heartedly as Ben led his dad inside. Brett stopped at the door, whispered, and kissed Scarlett on the cheek before disappearing into the warmth. Teddy and I followed, both mumbling about assholes under our breath. Scarlett grabbed me as I passed, her face a blend of annoyance and concern.
“I’m sorry he just turned up. I didn’t invite him, but he’s Ben’s dad. I can’t send him away.”
“And I would never ask you to,” I said with a smile so fake I felt ill. “You’re a family, Scar. I get it.” Perhaps sensing my insecurity, Scarlett gripped me tighter, pulling me flush against her body, and kissed me deeply. “Brett is not my family. He is Ben’s.Youare my family.”
“Muuuuum, come and watch with Dad and me.”
“Shit, I—”
It took all of my strength not to pin her against the door. To not mark her with my teeth. To not carry her inside over my shoulder and tell everyone that she belonged to me. To say what I said next… “It’s alright, Red. Honestly. Go sit with him and get your funk on with Bruno. I’ll finish cleaning up.” Scarlett kissed me again, let go of my hand, and left me to sit with her son and his father. Someone and something I knew—no matter what I did, how hard I tried, or how much I cared—I would never be.
Scarlett
For weeks, every time I looked at Finn, Jan’s gentle voice hummedthree-year planandhis own firm back homein my mind. The litany of questions I was desperate to bombard Finn with were always there, sitting on the tip of my tongue, but I never dared let them slip out. I was too scared of rocking the boat, so life continued, and it was wonderful. It really was. Especially Thanksgiving. Apart from being locked in the toilet with some questionable bowel issues, our day was a blast.
So, by 12:01 on Thanksgiving night, I decided I’d spent enough time worrying and was fully prepared to let it all go and move on to bigger and better things. Namely Christmas. The presents, the food—especially my world-renowned banoffee cream pie—the hustle and bustle, and the decorations.
As a kid, waking on Christmas morning sans gifts was not unheard of, so I unashamedly went overboard to make the holidays special for Ben. This year’s frivolities were extra frivolity-ish because I, Scarlett Grant, was in love.
It was also the one time of year I was organized. Though only the end of November, my shopping was done. Gifts for Finn, Evie, Jocelyn, and, of course, Iris and Ben were hidden amongst the empty suitcases and boxed-up memories in the attic, wrapped and ready for the big day. My excitement had spread to Ben, who had insisted on selecting Iris’s gift, a gorgeous My Little Pony charm bracelet. There was only one gift I hadn’t yet wrapped, and that was only because it might die if I did. Flotus, one of Mrs. Horowitz’s cats, named in honor of Michele Obama, had just had kittens, and one of the cute furballs was to be our first family pet.
Another first I hoped would become an annual tradition for Finn, the kids, and I was attending the lighting at Rockefeller Center.
Playing tourist in our hometown, Finn had planned the day down to the finest detail. We were chucking a sickie from school and work and hitting the Empire State Building, Times Square, the Central Park Zoo, the Statue of Liberty…THE WHOLE LOT. If we survived all that, Rockefeller would be next for skating, and then, courtesy of Jocelyn, our no doubt bruised asses would be filling VIP seats at the tree lighting.
In all honesty, I didn’t know if I had ever been more excited to walk so much in my life…until I was trapped in a metal sweatbox halfway to the top of New York.
“Are you alright, Red? You’re sweating bullets, and you’re holding my hand so tight my fingers are blue. I haven’t seen you like this since you had that bloody needle.”
I loosened my grip. “It wasn’t a needle. It was an IV, and yes, I’m fine. Just excited is all.”
Finn didn’t look convinced but said nothing—until we came to a halt, and the doors slid open. To everyone else, it was an elevator door opening to the observation deck of the Empire State Building. To me, it was a portal opening to the fiery pits of hell.
The elevator emptied. No one remained inside…no one but me.
After blindly reaching for my non-existent hand, Finn realized I wasn’t beside him, turned back, and laughed at my attempts to hide in a place with literally nowhere to hide. “Are you coming out or trying to recreate a Lionel Ritchie video?”
“Hmmm, you know what? I left something in the car.” I hadn’t. It had taken weeks of lobbying, but Finn had finally begun to leave his precious Jeep at home. Today we’d taken the subway like normal people. “And…and…I need the bathroom. I’ll go back down and find one. You guys go ahead, and I’ll come back and meet up with you.”
The elevator operator, Jerry, smiled and pointed out the doors. “There are bathrooms on this level, ma’am. Just to your left.” What an asshole.
“Oh. Um. I…” I began to panic.
“Sorry, ma’am, I need to return to ground level. Are you exiting?” I couldn’t move. “Ma’am? Ma’am?”
I spun on my heels and snapped, “Give me a break, Jerry. I’m freaking out here!”
