Page 7 of Rules in Love
“Finnley.”Oh. Good. God.It was the first time I’d heard my name pass those lips and the closest I’d ever come to a religious experience. I looked up and found green eyes disarmingly staring into mine.
“Finn. Please, call me Finn.”
“Finn,” she whispered and looked away. Those soft lips were licked, and I was sure I heard a sigh escape them. For two, maybe two hundred heartbeats, we stayed that way, connected and alone. It was just us in that room.
Finn and Scarlett. Scarlett and Finn.
I was consumed with fear. She was going to walk from that room, and I would never feel the same way again. All I wanted was for this moment to last forever and to know if she was as affected by my touch as I was by hers. Her eyes would tell me, but I couldn’t look. My courage had abandoned me along with my dignity and, apparently, the ability to let go of her hand.
It was perhaps for the best, then, that before things could get any more inappropriate, some inconsiderate asshole behind me dared to breathe, cough, or merely exist. I flinched at the distraction. Scarlett gasped, and my hand fell to my side.
Achingly, she stepped away. My moment in the sun was over.
She left me, and I remained still, looking down at the hand that touched her, bewildered to find it unchanged when everything within me felt so entirely different.
Desperate for an answer to the ‘are they, aren’t they’ question, the minute I was done with my presentation, I ran to Teddy. Tumbling over several indoor plants in the process, I landed face-first at his feet, gasping like a fool.
“Can I help you with something?” He smirked, trying hard to suppress his giggles.
“I bloody hope so. I need to know what the hell is going on with you and Scarlett.”
It was like he’d been waiting for the invitation. Teddy immediately dragged me to a pub near my house on Bleecker Street. It was my kind of place. I had a beer in hand, football was playing on one giant screen, and rugby on another. My need to learn all I could about Scarlett and Teddy’s relationship may have led us there, but I couldn’t seem to find the nerve to ask him anything. Even after loosening up with more drinks than I would normally allow myself, I was sure all I would leave with was a new mate and the promise of a massive hangover. Meanwhile, Teddy was the one asking all the questions, treating the evening like an episode ofWho Wants to be a Millionaire?.
“Finn, tell me about Australia.”
“What’s the deal with your family?”
“How do you feel about other orphans?”
“So, you don’t have a girlfriend. Why is that?”
“What shoe size are you?”
Eventually, extreme intoxication helped me get to the point, and I wrangled the metaphorical mic from Teddy.
“Theodore…Teddy…Big Ted…I gotta ask because I am dying here. Are you and Scar sleeping together? Like, you know, sleeping together but not just sleeping? Bumping uglies? Rooting? Fucking?”
Hysterical laughter was not the answer I expected. After a solid minute of hilarity, he realized it was one-sided and abruptly stopped. “Shit. You’re serious. Oh God, Finn. You are precious.” He wiped his eyes dry of tears, then grabbed and kissed the top of my head. “Finny, my darling, I promise, Scarlett and I have never and will never be romantically involved. If I were struck by lightning tomorrow and suddenly rendered straight, she would be my number-one gal. But until that happens, you have nothing to worry about.”
“So, you’re….”
“Gay? Yes, Finn. I am gay. I love willies, cocks, and dicks of all shapes and sizes. Scarlett’s undoubtedly gorgeous vagina holds little to no interest to me.”
I should have been relieved. This was what I wanted, after all. But somehow, my bewilderment and anxiousness reached new heights. Moving from beer to whiskey proved less helpful than I predicted, and my rapid mood deterioration was noticed.
“What’s up, muchacho?” Teddy asked, rubbing my back.
“Well, now that I know Scar’s not your girl, I think I’m safe to tell you. Teddy, I think your mate is hot as fuck.”
Teddy slapped his cheek. “No!”
“I know! It’s a shock, right? I’ve kept it pretty tightly under wraps. But, yep, I like her…a lot. But see, the thing is, I cannot figure her out. I thought you were the root of the problem, but now, I dunno. Did I do something to irritate or offend her? Or do I have appallingly bad breath or body odor? Whatever the reason, she can’t stand to be around me…but is always around me. Know what I mean?”
He nodded and chuckledwhile pursing his lips and motioningfor me to continue with a roll of his index finger. “So, yeah, as I said, Scar avoids me like the plague, but I catch her glancing at me all the time, which feeds my neediness and insecurity and sends my need for her approval into the stratosphere.” I paused to breathe but only briefly. “My brain has created a million worst-case scenarios, each explaining what could be driving her behavior, most of which came to a screaming halt when you told me about your love of cock. That should make me feel better. But it kind of makes it worse. Now that I know she’s not your girl, it’s going to be even harder to function amidst the conflict. Can you please, please tell me anything that will put me out of my misery? Please.”
It was not until my slurred and lengthy monologue was complete that I became aware of my precarious sitting position. I was on the edge of my barstool, my dangling legs intimately wedged between Teddy’s knees, my hands holding his. After appearing to appreciate the closeness of our bodies, he freed himself, wiped his hands free of moisture, and took a leisurely sip of his beer. The bastard was enjoying my agony.
“Finny, you do not stink. Your breath is minty fresh, though maybe not right this second, and she doesn’t hate you. She may, in fact, feel quite the opposite.” He took another pull of his beer, never taking his eyes off mine. “Scar may be covered in coffee stains and awkward as fuck, but she is truly the most gorgeous, incredible, generous person. She’s also been single for way too long, and I need it to end. I’m not going to tell you what to do or how to feel—or how she feels, for that matter. But don’t give up. Be patient, give her time, and let her get to know you. She’s a thousand percent worth the wait.”
