Page 43 of Rules in Love
I covered my junk. “I will, as long as you don’t punch me again.”
“No promises,” she said with a huff.
“Okay. What I meant to say is, I really, really want to take you home and kiss you a whole lot more.” Amongst other things. “And I have the feeling you want that too.” She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. It made her boobs look huge, and my decision seemed even stupider. “But work is important to both of us, and I don’t think now is a good time to become involved. Life’s complicated enough as it is. I’m still finding my feet here, and I’m just not in a place where I can give you what you deserve.” I cupped her cheek and lifted her eyes to mine. “And the thing is, Red…I think you deserve everything.”
Pulling her lips between her teeth, Scarlett exhaled deeply and nodded. “Oh. Okay.”
“I need us to be good friends. I really care about you, Scarlett.”
“I care about you too. And you should know that I… I think you’re right.” She began to step back. “This is the smart thing to do. Oh, my phone is ringing. I have to go. Good night, Finn.”
Just like that, she turned and ran. I should have chased her. But I didn’t. I stayed on the balcony, circling the perimeter like a caged lion, until Teddy, balancing a glass of champagne and a plate of hors d’oeuvres, tapped me on the shoulder. “Finn. What the hell’s wrong with Scar? She just left and said she’d cut me if I followed her.”
“I think I fucked up, Teddy. I just… I kissed her. Well, she kissed me after tying me up in her lasso, and it was fucking amazing. And, and…” I pulled my hands down my face and resumed pacing.
“And? Most women don’t run off after amazing kisses, Finn. Even ones like Scar who have slight tendencies toward extreme theatrics.”
“Well, I was going to take her home, and she went in to get her things. But Herman came outside and told me not to dip my quill in her pot. Then I said that to Scar, and she thought I was calling her the office slut. Then she junk-punched me and left.”
He took a bite off an essential 70’s delicacy, a pig in a blanket, then whistled. “Oh. Wow. Smooth, Finn. Really smooth.”
“Yeah. No shit. I swear I didn’t mean it like that, and I told her that too. I like her, Teddy. A lot. But I can’t get into a relationship right now. I have plans. I was trying to do the right thing for both of us”.
“I’m sure you were. But maybe next time, avoid slut-shaming when you try to let someone down. Even if it was taken the wrong way and finished off with sweetness, she deserves better than that. And I know you can do better.”
I nodded and began to walk away, but my advisor wasn’t finished. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close enough to see the pastry stuck between his teeth. “If you find yourself in the right life position and are lucky enough to get another chance, you better lock her down. She won’t stay single for long. The good ones never do.”
I had never been one to handle conflict well at the best of times, and the predicament I faced in the week since the party, being on shaky ground with three of the most important people in my life simultaneously, was evidence of that. I hadn’t spoken to Nate since he called me a monk. Evie and I had barely looked at each other since the letter incident. And now Scarlett and I had skipped the friend zone and gone back to professional acquaintance land.
Talking to her about the best kiss of my life would have been the mature thing to do. But we had been working well together, making some serious headway on the house design, and as much as I missed the fun, I didn’t want to rock the boat.
Avoiding confrontation was a habit I fell into when I was a kid. Evie was a firecracker from birth. It was often easier to leave her alone than deal with her wrath. When Mum and Dad died, I delayed my grief by losing myself in Shelby. While Nate understood to some extent, he was less than impressed by our goo-goo eyes and stolen kisses. After almost coming to blows at the beach one day when I may have become a little too handsy in front of him, I again hid from confrontation. Shelby and I went underground and, out of fear, stayed that way until we found out about—and could no longer hide—her pregnancy. Then when we lost her too, I transplanted my feelings into Iris, school, and my job.
The method that had once helped me survive now had me all kinds of messed up. I couldn’t sleep, could hardly eat, and felt totally out of control of my emotions, which I hated. I needed to seize it back. I needed to purge, and it needed to start at home. “Eves, can I talk to you for a sec?” She was tucked up in bed, reading and sipping on tea. Iris had one day left before school started, and she was making the most of a late sleep-in.
“You can if you want to. Whether or not I’ll listen is another question.”
“What are you reading?”
The same eyes I saw in the mirror each morning shifted from the pages before her and focused intently on mine. “‘The Truth About Love.’ It’s beautiful and sweet. Not at all snappy or judgmental of people when they tried to do the right thing.” It was hard, but I left the blinding hypocrisy of Evie accusing others of snippy judgment. If I didn’t, we’d end up in a bigger quarrel.?
That horrible feeling of guilt, of owed apologies you didn’t want to hand over, began swirling in my gut. I flopped on the bed and nudged her in the ribs.
“The other night, when I found the letter…I was an asshole. I want to apologize. You were right. You do know Iris as well as me, maybe better. She’s spent more time with you since birth and probably wouldn’t appreciate her mum’s words yet. She’d have it covered in cake, crayons, or both within an hour. So, yeah. I’m sorry.”
She dropped her book into her lap. “So, you bloody should be… Me too. I should have told you about it. You deserved to see how happy Shelby was to be having a baby, and you deserve to be happy now, Finn.”
“Yeah, probably. Or…” I stopped and decided to keep my thoughts to myself. It was my turn to get a nudge in the ribs.
Evie chased my eyes. “Or what?”
“Maybe it’s better that I found it now. Maybe it’s a sign for me to remember why I’m here and to remind me to keep Shelby’s memory alive for Iris.” I hoped to make Evie’s life better too. She lived for me and Iris. But I left that inside, knowing she’d find a way to be insulted.
“Maybe. I’m not sure why that means you must be a complete prick, though.”
We sat silently, nudging each other repeatedly until Evie grabbed her phone and saw the time. “Jesus, Finn, It’s almost eight. What the hell are you still doing here?”
“Oh, well. You know Scarlett from work?”
