Page 65 of Beast and Remedy
“My gifts,” I speak up. “They—they arepainful. And Marian and I were trying to create a tonic for my pain alongside treating and helping wounded animals we would find in Haliver Woods. We’d been doing this for years. But on our name day, we werehelping this wolf, and during the party, it got out of its cage, trashed my study, and destroyed everything.”
“Oh, Vi,” Jules breathes.
Christine says, “That must have been awful.”
“It was,” I agree. “And we tried to find it when it broke out, but we couldn’t. And then one animal attack was reported, and then another, and then a citizen showed up bitten by a wolf and—”
I press my lips together, everything coming to a head. The weight of it all, acknowledging it all, too much to bear. It’s too much.
Folding my arms on the table, I bury my face, no longer wishing to say more.
We were so stupid to think it was nothing. Yes, we tried to fix our mistake, and it multiplied into mayhem.
Now the infection is spreading, and so much more is at stake. And there is no telling what would happen now should anyone find out Marian and I were the cause of this.
No one would be able to protect us.
And my hopelessness and fear of losing my sister just laid that fact bare to my friends. Friends I hope truly are and will always be and not backstab me.
Sweet Makers, what have I done?
Damn my heart. Damn my emotions. I shouldn’t have said anything.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
A hand rests along my back, and I tense, the touch one I don’t deserve.
“Vi,” Beau says, and I want to scream at the top of my lungs until my voice turns hoarse.
But what good will that even do?
I pinch my eyes shut, fighting the urge to surrender to the emotions and hating every moment I consider unleashing them. Ihatecrying.
“Vi,” Beau urges, and again, his tenderness and his compassion are another thing I don’t deserve.
I should be chained, locked up, thrown into the dungeons and face the wrath of all the kingdoms for what I’ve done. What I don’t think I will be able to fix. What I will lose.
Marian.
I shake off his touch, letting my waves be an extra barrier as I hide. “Ican’t.”
I can’t lean into him for comfort. I can’t lean into my sister.
“I can’t do anything right,” I spit, anger surging in my chest, fury and rage wanting to thrash and tarnish everything I hold dear.
I don’t know what to do.
“Rosebud,please,” Beau utters. “Look at me.”
My body convulses, emotions tightening at the name, the pleading—the attempt at soothing comfort. I fight against it, not trusting myself. Not trusting anything.
He moves my chair and angles me toward him, his hands holding my face. “Leo is going to take Marian to her rooms.”
“I am not letting her out of my sight,” I say with defiance.
“I know you don’t want to, but you and I need to talk about the next steps. Leo, Marcel, Jules, and Christine can watch over her in the meantime.”
“No.” Fury raises my voice an octave, ensuring the refusal was a bite. “I need to get her home now more than ever.”
