Page 58 of Beast and Remedy
Marian remains quiet, observing me with worry.
I brush it off, not ready to share how bad it truly is to be here. “We need to offer our thanks and head out tomorrow. I don’t want to delay aiding our kingdom any longer.”
Marian approaches and clasps my shoulder. Meeting her freckled face, sorrow and guilt line her features. “Don’t take this all on yourself, Vi. We both fucked up.”
The gnawing shame and failure fester.
Turning away, I close my eyes, catching myself from crumbling. “I wish I never sought out a way to reduce my shifting pain. If I hadn’t set down this path, none of this would have ever happened.”
“Vi.”
Her voice lowers, and it tugs at me even more.
“If I never set down this path, you wouldn’t have almost died!” I yell, my anger not fazing her as she hugs me.
“Vi.”
She comforts me, but I can’t help the rage fueling my heart, drawing everything to the surface.
Riker, Alec, Marius, and Bronn flash in my mind. Annie.
Their deaths. Their blood.
So. Much. Blood.
So. Much. Death.
I shudder and fist her dress, needing to remove the horrifying images. “I’m so sorry, Marian.”
She squeezes me twice, and I return it in little bursts, trying to calm my frustration.
Two squeezes.
Pause.
Two squeezes.
Pause.
Two squeezes.
“I’m okay, Vi. I promise.” She pulls away, her brown eyes meeting mine. “I’m okay—we’re okay, and we are going to fix this.”
She grins, pulling our foreheads together. “You and me. We will fix this.”
Her resolve and her faith in me are something I’ll never deserve.
I slump into her embrace, everything crashing against me like a tidal wave. The agreement is the only thing keeping me upright.
If I could have this same feeling with Beau… Deities, I shouldn’t see him after dinner.
Ireallyshouldn’t. But Iwantto see him.
But what if everything has changed?
If something changed, he wouldn’t have written love in the note, Vi.
Could he be using me? Take advantage of me? Kill me like he killed Mama?
