Page 229 of Beast and Remedy
I swallow the thickness building in my throat, hating to feel as if his emotions are from anger, betrayal, and resentment. He must be at a total loss for how to deal with me and Marian.
“P-P-Papa.”
My voice wobbles.
A choked sob leaves him. He tries to stifle it with a clamped fist covering his mouth, but he drops his head, his body shaking as he kisses my knuckles.
“Thank the Makers,” he rasps, pain straining his voice, and my heart crumbles. “My sweet girl, I thought I had lost you.”
“You didn’t. I’m here.”
He flicks his gaze up, his features grief-stricken and overwhelmed, undoubtedly from the plethora of questions he seeks answers to.
But the biggest thing clawing from my chest is more of a confession than an answer. “It’s my fault. And I’m so sorry.” The words tumble from my mouth.
I explain everything about the infection, about agreeing to marry in order for Jean and Pierre to help me, about Beau healing Marian. All the events leading up to the present.
But I consciously mask my true feelings for Beau, still uncertain it’s safe to share just yet.
Papa’s chest rises and falls at a normal level compared to his earlier tremors. But his silence is its own torturous punishment as I finish.
“And he—he didn’t do it, though, Papa. Beau didn’t kill Mama.”
My father watches me, still silent, still processing.
It isagony.
“I-I-I spoke to Mama.” I shudder, and his eyes widen. “She has been watching over me this entire time, helping me with my magic, and she’s part of the forest—an esprit.” I sniff, shaking asmy heart twists with the acceptance of the truth. “And Marian all but confirmed it when she attacked me.”
I close my eyes, trying to separate the love I’ve had for my sister from the reality of her true self.
Yet I cannot help but feel like it was the infection taking hold of her. Taking hold of herself in a figment of shadows and whispers like she admitted before.
The profound words hiss and drift in circles around my mind.
Be careful of the shadows.
I shudder.
My lip quivers, and I push down the stinging betrayal of my sister.
I glance at Papa, his head downcast, his body forlorn. Exhausted.Pained.
“I’m sorry for deceiving you and using everyone to go behind your back and lying about the infection. For lying about my whereabouts and relying on others to conceal my deception. I’m sorry for disobeying you and writing and warning Torgem. I’m sorry for turning to them for help. I’m sorry. I am so, so—”
“If you apologize for one more thing, Vi, I swear—”
“You swear what? To disown me? Toexecuteme?” I choke on the last word, my worst fears, for once, voiced.
He flinches, shock flashing across his expression.
But I know what he’s thinking. I can tell how he truly feels with not only one but two of his daughters creating an endless problem for a kingdom he is fighting to keep together despite the magic flowing through my veins and not his own.
Could that be something that upsets him like it had Marian?
My heart breaks even more, and a souring tension unsettles in my gut, worse than being stabbed by my twin.
I glance away, trying to brace for my father’s punishment.
