Page 201 of Beast and Remedy
Feel his warmth and unwavering devotion envelop me.
I just wish I could feelhim.
I cling to Jules tighter.
“You didn’t ruin anything, Vi,” my friend whispers, running her hands in repetitive circles, trying to calm me. “You didn’t ruin anything.”
Tremors take hold, my magic trying to quiet the internal destruction of my soul as she repeats the words, over and over, hoping to soothe my mind.
It doesn’t help.
“I-I-I pushed the only man I’ve ever loved out of my life. And when he asked if our love was worth fighting for, I-I-I practically told himno.” Tears soak my cheeks and her shirt, and I can’t stop stammering. “I-I-I told him we couldn’t be together because my father would never allow it, and I-I-I didn’t know if the cost of fighting for our love was worth losing my only parent.”
Each syllable is a struggle as I sniff. “I-I-I told him my needs and wants didn’t matter because I’m the heir to Belmur, andPapa wouldneverbe able to get past his belief that Beau killed my mother. He’s so fucking stubborn!”
I pinch my eyes shut, wanting to hiss and rage in my fury, but I withdraw from Jules and wipe my cheeks. “He—he’s so stubborn, and I know without a doubt if we even found proof of Beau’s innocence, my fatherstillwouldn’t believe it. He’s spent so many years casting the blame on someone, pushing away the possibility of closure, and scolding us for trying to move on and heal after Mama’s passing.”
A weight slowly lifts off my chest, power thrumming and rippling through my veins. I welcome it, letting the heat calm the ache clinging to my soul.
“I love Beau. I love my family. And I love my kingdom.” I take a long sigh, opening my eyes and hating the searing hot tears immediately blurring my vision. “But to save Marian and give me time, I sacrificed my own happiness, agreeing to marry someone after the cure was made. All so Jean and Pierre wouldn’t run to Papa about Beau and you all coming into Belmur.”
Jules’s expression falls.
I bite my lip, needing to stop it from quivering.
But my heart cracks more, the truth settling deeper into my bones.
“While I don’t get to have it all, sacrificing one of the most precious things in my world to have my sister was worth it. Even if I’m a shell of a person in the coming days, months, and years. Even if I have to remind myself every day that I have my sister, my family, and my kingdom back in order. It was all worth it.”
What a painful lie to live with for the rest of your life, Vi.
I break at the thought, covering my face once more as another explosion of heartbreak takes hold of me.
Jules tugs me to look at her. “You deserve to have everything, Vi.Everything.” Tenderness softens her features, her voicegentle as she says, “And you never know how your father will react if we find out who really killed your mother.”
“That and I have no idea how Papa would react if he knew about Beau and me, let alone if he knew I wanted to marry Beau.” I shrink. “What if hedisownsme?”
She levels her gaze. “Your father would never disown you, Vi. He loves you and Marian. Plus, if you mention wanting to marry Beau, you could always do what my cousin did and merge territories.”
I shake my head. “That requires all the kingdoms to accept. And there is no way Papa would ever grant that.”
“Says who?”
“Says him and all the monarchs who already had a hard time accepting when Queen Tove and King Jerrick got married.”
She clicks her tongue. “But you don’t know unless you try.”
“Maybe not, but even if I did try—did consider—that idea, it still brings us back to the lack of evidence proving Beau’s innocence. Proving to Papa that Beau is a good man. And then also fighting his stubbornness to get him to see reason.”
I wipe my cheeks. “And believe me, I’m not the only one who’s tried to get through to him over the last few years. We’ve all tried and failed. He even threatened us. Said he’d remove Jean and Pierre from their positions if they brought it up again, take away Marian’s and my freedoms and luxuries to be with him at every meeting, discussion, and correspondence he oversees so we would understand the weight he carries running a kingdom.”
Jules rests an elbow on the table and plays with a lavender stem. “It still boggles my mind your father was so quick to put the blame on Beau, simply because he was the one who discovered your mother. He was on the hunt, too. Not to mention there was more than one kingdom visiting and out in the woods with us all. Who is to say a different region did it? Who’s to say he didn’t do it?”
I glare, but she quickly raises her hands in surrender. “I’m only making a point here. I find it odd your father immediately targeted his kingdom’s closest ally, compared to looking into other possibilities, other people.”
“Do you remember everyone who participated in the hunt?”
She snorts. “Definitely not you.”
