Page 195 of Beast and Remedy
I groan with embarrassment.
He withdraws another piece of parchment. “Do you remember the one you sent with this box? The one you sent almostimmediatelyafter I received the other?”
The air shifts in the room as if a rug is being pulled out from under me. Beau opens the note, but I turn to stop him. “I-I-I remember. We don’t have to—”
“It’s okay, my love,” Beau says. “This is the one that means the most to me.”
I balk. “Really?”
“Really.” He kisses my temple before giving me my old letter.
I twist and put the case on his work desk before inspecting the parchment. Uncertainty runs through my gut as I rub it between my fingers.
Beau holds me close, hovering as I scan over the writing.
Summer, The Makers Year 1021
Dearest Beau,
I know I just sent a letter, and I know we are not as close as we used to be. Sweet Makers, I’m pretty sure you don’t even consider me much of a friend. I know I didn’t for a while myself. But I cannot begin to emphasize how much it hurts to know you and your family are hurting. And I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now.
My last letter did not encapsulate that, and I must apologize.
Please know my heart is fractured and broken beyond repair upon hearing about Maxim. Your brother is an amazing person, and anyone who knows him should consider themselves lucky. The news of his passing weighs heavy on everyone here at home, and I knew it would be worse for your family.
To help, I thought sending this letter along with this box could be a way for you to record and store any memories you have of him. I have a case like this myself for letters I’ve received to look back upon with fondness and I thought because of the messages we used to share, you might find some use for this.
Inside there is parchment and a quill with a feather from a bird that reminded me of Maxim. I also painted it gold because it’s a color that reminds me of him and of you. A way to symbolize the two of you.
I know you may never open this letter, and I want you to know, I understand. I know I am a silly girl who always thought of you as my closest friend. Your brother is more of your best friend than I ever could be. That’s how I feel aboutMarian. But with times like this, it feels alright to have more than one person you share everything with. Should you ever want that, please know you already have a space in my heart to be mine.
Your Rosebud,
Vi
My heart sticks in my throat, remembering the fracture of happiness everyone felt when Maxim passed away. Torgem practically severed ties with us when it happened, but we still showed our valiant support in different ways.
“I remember rolling my eyes when I received the box and another letter from you. I was too devastated, too broken, and too lost from Maxim’s absence. I think back then I knew, deep down, it was my fault for losing your friendship. For pushing you away. And when I saw it… I didn’t feel worthy of it, and it only added to my grief. But after my father—”
His voice cracks, and I stiffen, pain radiating through me from his anguish.
He clears his throat. “You sent another letter, and I read that one, and ran to my study to grab your gift and read the other. I spent a good while combing over your words, before revisiting our old conversations and feeling warmth return to my heart. Something I hadn’t felt since before losing them.”
I rest the letter beside the wooden crate. Empathy and understanding press down against my heart and my chest, and I turn to comfort him.
But he cups my face, his eyes scanning mine as he shakes his head. Beau takes a long, deep breath, slowly exhaling before I wrap him in my arms.
He burrows into my waves. “I was such an idiot for pushing you away when we were still kids.”
“Hormones,” I joke, and he bursts into a fit of laughter. I chuckle with him until he calms and pulls me back, returning sincerity into our conversation.
“I read that letter every day.Every day, Vi. Up until I knew I was ready to see you again.” Beau rubs my cheeks with a devastatingly tender smile.
“And when I saw you for the first time after losing my brother and my father, you not only shifted my world with your words, but you stopped my heart when you told me to write you back. I already felt unworthy of your kindness and friendship. But I couldn’t stop—didn’t want to ever stop writing you back.”
Beau plucks a red rose from the vase, twirling it as his hypnotic voice warms every inch of my body. “And we got closer, and you kissed me… everythingclicked.”
Beau places the flower in my hands, and then grabs my chin, tilting it up. “I wanted to be your friend, but I needed to be your love. To take up all the space in your heart to be yours and only yours.”
