Page 166 of Beast and Remedy
“What?” I startle.
But Beau rears back, his features disheartened as he lifts his hands in surrender. “I was only trying to help.”
“No.” I grasp his wrist and pull him back. “B, it’s nothing like that. I swear.”
He releases a long sigh and presses his forehead against mine as I trace lines on his open palm. His hot breath and citrusy sweet scent soothe the disarray of my churning, never-ending troubles.
“It’s everything to do with the past. The infection.Me. With shifting and not wanting to be cursed,” I admit one of my worries in a hushed whisper before meeting his golden-honey irises. “But I’mterrifiedof watching you see the beast I become.”
“Vivienne,” he breathes, my name more melodic on his tongue than my nickname. “I’ve already seen you as a bear. I’ve seen you shift back.”
“But this timefeelsdifferent.”
“Why?”
Hesitation grips me in place, and Beau takes my hands in his, pressing them to his pec. “Why does it feel different?”
He runs his thumb along my knuckles, his heartbeat thundering before I glance up, waves of emotion clogging my throat.
“Because now I know there is a curse. A curse that could keep me as an animal forever. A curse that could keep me from my family, my kingdom—fromyou,” I choke out.
He cups my cheek, a fierce tenderness in his voice. “Maxim’s death, my father’s death, and your father’s banishment kept me from you. And it didn’t matter to you when I ignored you foryears when I was grieving. Just like it didn’t matter when the letters I tried to send you for years were always returned to me—”
“You tried writing me after Papa banished you?”
“Of course I did.”
My heart clenches. “I-I-I tried, too, but mine were burned.”
“It’s okay though, my love. That’s what I am trying to tell you.”
“How?”
He kisses my temple before holding my stare. “Because nothing. Death. Banishment. Infection. Curses. Beast or not,nothingwill ever stop me or keep me from loving you.”
Beau kisses me. Fervently. Passionately. Excessively, like our lives depend on it.
I want to revel in his love, sheltered from all my troubles and worries, and for a moment, I do. Because nothing will ever keep me from loving him, too.
When he pulls away, he whispers, “So, please don’t push me away when I just got you back.”
And the spell of happiness I’ve fallen for disintegrates, my chest caving in by the reminder of theotherthreats to our relationship never becoming more than stolen kisses and love letters.
Peering up at the tree, I inhale the mossy scent before confronting the past. “Don’t you get it, though? Ihaveto push you away.”
Beau scrunches his face. “Why?”
“Youknowwhy.”
His features smooth out with understanding, and I gesture to it. “See?”
“See what?”
“That.” I point at his expression. “That’sexactlywhy I didn’t want to say anything. And also why I didn’t want to rehash the past when we have other problems to solve.”
Wanting to fold into myself and hide away from the disappointment he wears, I cross my arms.
Our time is limited, and I hate the doubt constantly creeping in whenever we share a blissful moment, a shared kiss, a warm touch.
