Page 129 of Beast and Remedy
Wordlessly, I nod, the grief sinking in. My throat tightens with the mention of Mama and Beau learning of her abilities.
The soul steps close, its phantom hand taking the one clutching my chest and sending a wave of warmth up my arm. It flickers, radiating with love.
“Her presence remains with us still. Always nurturing, always loving. Much like you.”Sparks dance along my skin where we touch, but nothing hurts.“Nurture your magic and yourself how you do for your loved ones.”
It draws closer, heat pressing against me as pinpricks spring across my temple. Is it giving me kisses now, too?
The soul pulses and glitters, but my attention lands on the light stretching across the cave’s interior, our time soon to end.
Beau bows to the soul shrinking back into a floating ember. “Our gratitude goes beyond words.”
I lower my head in thanks, refusing to lose sight of the esprit even as it fades.
It shimmers, vanishing until it is all but a glimmer, a trick to the naked eye as the esprit’s soft voice draws out its final token of guidance.
“Fall into place the missing pieces will be. So long as you find the seer you seek.”
28
The Curse
In the blink of an eye, the soul is gone, leaving me and my mind discombobulated.
I press my hand on the alcove, waves of hysteria clamping down, and surging up my tightening throat. My thoughts run wild.
A seer.
Mymother.
Beau.
My powers.
Acurse.
Grief, naivety, andyearsof torturous pain thrash within, and my knees give out.
I crumble, unbothered by the stones scraping my skin.
Rage—pure rage—I’ve fought to control and not spew to others directs its full attention on me. It erupts in my veins, warmer than any summer day, any fire capable of burning someone for getting too close.
Shrinking inward, I let it consume me, a defeated scream bouncing off the enclosed space as my nails pierce into my palms, wishing there was somewhere I could expel thisanger.
Anger at myself. For not seeing—not even considering all the options.
“Stupid!” I hiss and grit my teeth as fury boils in my blood. “I’m sofuckingstupid!” I roar, not even batting an eye as hot tears run down my cheeks.
Thisentiretime, I’ve been cursing myself without even realizing it. Believed this crippling pain to be the natural consequence of shifting. But this recent shift was the most brutal of them all, and to think if Beau wasn’t with me to use his gifts…
Would I have been okay?
What ifthiswas the final time I could be human?
What would have happened to Marian? To the virus? To our people?
Bile churns in my stomach. The destruction I could have brought to my kingdom all because I never once considered embracing my gifts. My chest caves in, hollowing into a chasm of my own Oblivion.
I bury my face in my hands, unable to process the unfathomable events and repercussions of my actions. My heartbeat reverberates in my ears, my breath too far to reach.
