Page 236 of Frost and Death
Removing my indifference, I offer him a glimmer of me and not live up to the rumors Nikolaj spread. “Thank you, Lord Ulrik. I appreciate your kind words. Please extend my gratitude to the noblemen for me. I’d truly love to have a full meeting with all of you to discuss and make better arrangements for Axidoria—”
I stop, unsure of if I am still the Queen of Palaena.
Ulrik kisses my knuckles once more before rising. “Is there anything the noblemen can do for you?”
I think momentarily, looking at Jonas. Regardless if he hates me, I still would trust him more than anyone to run my kingdom. And with a divorce inevitably coming or my impending death, I still have faith he would see my wishes through.
“Please keep Prince Jonas updated with everything,” I decide.
Ulrik nods to leave, but before he can, my own misgivings have me reaching for his tunic, halting him and drawing his attention back to me. “Should anything—and I repeat,anything—go amiss while I am recovering, you and all the persons responsible will be dealing with me.Personally. Am I understood?”
Ulrik’s eyes widen at the menace in my tone, but it vanishes as he nods again, more earnest than before.
I release my grip on his tunic. “Good. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to speak with the prince.”
The lord bows without another word, leaving me alone with Jonas. The silence is awkward as we stare at the other. I am unsure of what to say, what to ask, and what to do.
Jonas releases a long sigh, uncrossing his hands to scratch the back of his head.
I rush to blurt out my apologies.
“I’m so sorry—”
“I’m sorry—”
I sheepishly curve my shoulders inward as my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Jonas tightens his lip and gestures for me to speak first.
My skin is hot and clammy, my betrayal hangs heavy between us, making my emotions thick in my throat. I swallow the bile threatening to force its way up as I beg for forgiveness I know I will never get and will never deserve.
“There are not enough apologies in the world to say to Jerrick and you, Jonas. I am sorry I lied. I am sorry I dragged everyone into this mess. And once I am deemed well, I am more than willing to accept my judgment and execution or allow Palaena to dictate the terms through the divorce process and discussions of trade and borders. I am willing to redefine Axidoria’s borders and anything Palaena needs to atone for my actions,” I say through shaky breaths.
“Execution? Divorce?” Jonas asks, brows furrowed.
I nod as tears line my vision.
Stupid tears.
“I completely understand coordinating one or both because of what I did, what my kingdom did,” I tell him.
Jonas shakes his head, sighing. “Tove, why are you thinking about any of that?”
My lip quivers as more tears fall. The pain in my chest tightens as I fight to keep my emotions at bay.
“I-I assumed—”
Jonas steps up and lowers to a knee, reaching for my hand. His stoic features have softened, drawing forth the enthusiastic and patient Jonas I’ve come to know and admire.
“Tove, we don’t care about any of that. We only care about you and making sure you’re alright,” Jonas says, scooting closer.
“But—” I break off, disbelieving his compassion and care for me. “After everything I did? Youshouldcare. Youallshould care. I should be executed or shipped off to Axidoria and away from you all.”
Jonas’s brows pinch, shaking his head softly. “I heard everything, Tove. Well, almost everything.”
I do not knoweverythinghe refers to, but Jonas continues, “Beau found me first, told me you went off to the throne room and that he was going to find Jerrick. I stormed off to find you and help you, but when I neared the throne room, I heard conversation instead of fighting, and I listened.” He sighs and looks away. “I should have found Jerrick and brought him and a group of men sooner.”
“You couldn’t have known what he had planned. I didn’t even know,” I force through a breathless sob.
He turns back to me, eyes filled with tears. “I know you didn’t, Tove.”
