Page 220 of Frost and Death
My stomach folds into itself as my lips quiver from the pain etched in his words. I hold the bedsheet tight to myself for safety as he glowers.
I can’t bear him looking at me like this, like he hates me.
I don’t even know where to start with explaining everything.
No matter what I tell him, he could kill me, and he could kill Niko. But if I am gone, Jerrick would be left alone with his curse unbroken.
Should I lie about my true feelings?
I doubt they even matter to him now. But I could lie to save him and give him more reason to keep me alive long enough to divorce me.
I close my eyes, knowing what I have to do.
To help Jerrick be free from his curse, I have to let him go.
A deep breath fills my lungs as I square my shoulders, telling myself how much I love him before I lie once more to save him.
He studies me as I reach for the small sprinkle of frost in my chest. It is the one constant I can hold on to as I return the gift that Jerrick is for someone more worthy than me to love.
A bitter plunge of grief beckons to life with my magic, my mournful soul weeping as I fracture it again to save the man I love. My heart is in a chasm of despair, my love for Jerrick thrashing against my chest, begging to escape to tell him.
But as I open my eyes, all sense of myself is void—only the mask of the Snow Queen remains.
“I agreed to the terms of the marriage contract, as well as the agreement, to help break your curse,” I tell him, not wanting to even touch on the response to his original question.
I can’t lie to him about my feelings.
He shakes his head in disbelief, faltering a step.
I want to rush to him and tell him it was all real—isall real. I want to confess how I’ve never felt so cared for, so happy, and so real around anyone but him.
But when Jerrick’s pained disbelief shifts to anger, I blink through the tears lining my eyes.
No emotions, Tove. You can do this. You hold the key to his freedom.
“And I did learn how to break your curse,” I tell him, calling my magic forth.
Jerrick’s eyes dart to my hands as the frost creeps along the surface of my skin, the chill wrapping around and numbing me as my mind, body, and soul wither and truly seek to die. His eyes flash in surprise, but the King of Palaena blinks it away, taunting me with an angry response.
“I suppose you want me to spare you?”
I nod slowly, surprised he is not reacting to anything I’ve said.
He folds his arms and quirks a brow. “And howdidyou find the answer?”
I level my stance, committing to the mask I wear and pleading the lack of emotion means he will listen as I speak the truth.
“My mother designed her curses to outlive her,” I say, taking a small step toward Jerrick. “She designed them so that, even upon her death, the portion needed to lift each curse would appear and be visible to the next heir, to me.”
Jerrick remains silent, no doubt plotting and scheming all the ways he wishes to kill me.
But I need him to understand. I sigh a prayer to the Makers that the light inside Jerrick I’ve come to know and love will shine through and see reason.
I switch tactics, focusing on putting more of the puzzle together for him and reserve the one bargaining chip I have. The one that will let me see tomorrow and the one that will save Jerrick.
“When you kidnapped me, I had my mother’s mirror. Not only is it one of the few things I have left of hers, but it is also glamoured to be a channel of communication,” I say, tempted to avert my gaze when his jaw tics at another reveal he was not expecting.
His silence is more painful than when he ignored me after we were married. This man in front of me is an entirely different person, and I don’t know what to do.
