Page 35 of Tell Me I'm Not Dreaming
Literally, the whole menu for the weekend is fried foods, and all the vegetables will be cooked with meat. Hell, Lyric made sure to get Ranson’s dietary restrictions after she invited him. He’s all clear. If Melanie has food allergies, Jamar should have said something.
“Jamar, if the girl can’t eat anything we cook, what’s she going to eat?” Cerese asks.
“Uncle Doc has a whole garden; can’t we sauté some onions and bell peppers? Or something.”
“Who’swe? You’re not the one cooking,” Auntie Eunetta says.
“Okay, sorry, Auntie, can y’all sauté something?”
“It’s okay, Jamar, sweetie. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything here anyway.” Miss Thing has the nerve to turn her nose up. “Me and Chanel only eat organically grown food with no additives. Don’t we, baby?” She kisses the small poodle she’s holding on the mouth.
Wow!Me and the girls love Ginger, but even we aren’t this bad.This is some white people shit.
Lyric looks at Ranson, and he smirks.
“Oh, lord. How is she more bougie than the millionaire?” Auntie Vyola mutters.
Ranson chuckles but covers it up by stuffing a piece of cornbread Auntie Eunetta gave him in his mouth.
“I’m sure we can find something for you, but I do have to ask that you take your dog out of the kitchen,” Cerese says.
“Oh, it’s fine. She’s sweet and won’t get in the way,” Melanie says.
“I’m sorry, sugar, but the only animals allowed in this kitchen are the ones we’re going to eat. Please take the dog elsewhere.” Cerese repeats with abless your heartsweetness in her voice.
Jamar’s girlfriend looks at him like she’s expecting him to stand up for her. He avoids eye contact, looking at the floor.
She stomps out of the kitchen, and everyone is silent until Cerese pipes up.
“Jamar.”
“Yes, Auntie?” Jamar still looks at the floor.
“What did I tell you about bringing those bougie-ass girls to family functions?”
“That I need to stop.” Jamar looks up. “But I swear, Auntie. Tawny’s different. I see a future with her.”
“Her name is Melanie, fool.” Lyric makes fun of him.
“Oh, right.” Jamar cringes at his faux pas.
“And that’s also what you said about Denise,” Lyric says.
“And Megan,” Cerese adds.
“And Amber,” Sione, another cousin-in-law chimes in.
“And Heidi,” Tahj, Sione’s sister interjects.
“And I thought I meant it until I met Tawny,” Jamar defends himself.
“Melanie!” all the ladies yell.
“Dang, why do I keep doing that? Y’all got in my head,” Jamar complains.
“Man, ain’t nothing in your head but air,” Big Head tells him.
Jamar waves him away and goes looking for Melanie.
