Page 15 of Starting Over in Starshine Cove
“That’s exactly it. Now, enough of this morose conversation. Isn’t it strange, though, Connie? That we haven’t seen each other for such a long time, and end up having this awful thing in common?”
“It is strange, and I wish for both our sakes we had nothing to talk about. But now we’re discussing the past, just let me reassure you that I am no longer the train wreck you used to know. When you last saw me, I was young, dumb, and full of Jack Daniel’s. Now, I’m a very respectable, very boring mum-of-three who lives in a remote corner of Dorset and runs a little café. Marcy will be perfectly safe with us.”
He gives me a grin that tells me my earlier suspicions were right.
“Ah,” he says, “you noticed my sneaky little sobriety test, did you?”
“It wasn’t that sneaky – and I don’t blame you. I was a basket case last time you saw me. Don’t worry. She’ll be fine.”
“Good. I do worry – as I’m sure you know. Once something that bad has happened, you never feel quite safe again. Maybe we could swap numbers, so I could check in with a grown-up occasionally?”
“I don’t know about a grown-up, but you can definitely have my number.”
We’re in the process of doing this when the girls come racing down the stairs again. Marcy has an extra bag to cram into the tiny boot of my car, which will be fun. I hope she doesn’t have any Fabergé eggs in there or it could end badly.
“We were thinking…” says Sophie, glancing at her friend.
“Oh no. Did you hurt yourself?”
“Ha ha, very funny. No, we were thinking that maybe Marcy’s dad could come and visit for the Spring Feast night?”
The two of them are the picture of innocence, but I am not fooled for a minute. I suspect they’ve been discussing their poor old mum and dad, and how sad their lives are without their babies at home. In my case they may be right, but I’ll never admit that in a million years.
My mind quickly races over all the potential pros and cons of this scenario, and I realise that I don’t feel especially comfortable with Zack being in Starshine Cove. It’s nothing personal – he seems like he’s become a very nice man – but he is from that other country. The Past. Starshine is my present and my future, and I have a completely illogical fear that the two won’t mix. Or that they will in fact curdle.
If I’m being brutally honest with myself as well, I also find him unsettling to be around for other reasons. It’s been so long since I’ve felt attracted to a man that I almost didn’t recognise it at first, this fizzy feeling. Now I do recognise it, it’s not entirely welcome.
“It’s sold out, Soph,” I say sadly. “You know it always is. Besides, I’m sure Zack has better things to be doing.”
“I don’t actually,” he says, frowning. “I’d booked a fortnight off to go and visit Amy, but she says she’s too busy to manage more than a weekend. But I totally understand if it’s not possible. I’ll make it down for the next one.”
“Couldn’t you squeeze an extra table in?” Sophie pleads.
“Not really. People don’t pay that much money to be squashed in like sardines. I can let Zack know if there’s a cancellation, though?”
I’m really hoping there isn’t. Zack is looking at Marcy, deep in concentration, as though he’s trying to solve a problem.
“How about this?” he asks. “How about if I come down to help out? I’ve been around food shows enough to know the basics, and I did years waiting on tables while I was uni. That way I don’t need a table, and Connie, you get an extra set of hands.”
“Brilliant!” says Sophie, giving Marcy a high five like it was all their idea to begin with. “We’re always desperate for more staff, aren’t we, Mum?”
I nod, and plaster on a smile. She’s right, we are – but I still feel unsettled at the thought of those hands belonging to Zack Harris.
FIVE
I am out in the woods with my brother-in-law Archie, foraging for wild garlic. It’s not exactly hard to find – the woodlands here are old, and the floor is carpeted in swathes of the tell-tale little white flowers and pointed green leaves.
You’d be amazed how much food you can forage for if you know where to look. Fruits, vegetables, mushrooms, herbs, nuts and seeds, several different types of seaweed. It’s fun to forage, and somehow the food can taste better when you’ve found it yourself – maybe it’s a throwback to hunter-gatherer times.
I take small amounts – never more than nature can easily replace – and add them to the more traditionally sourced foods on my menu. The wild garlic is a favourite, and it also means a trip to the woods.
I love the woods. I mean, I love the beach as well – but something about the trees is so soothing. It’s a sunny day, and the light is striping through the canopy, dappled gold falling through the green. The air is alive with birdsong, and the only scents are those of nature – the thick, rich soil and the plants that grow in it. You could literally be in a different century out here, and I think that’s one of the reasons Archie loves it too – he loses himself in the ancient rhythm of it all. He’d fit rightin as a hunter gatherer, I think, as I watch him crouched down working with his knife, slicing a few leaves and adding them to the harvest already in the basket.
He is a very big man, my brother-in-law. Kind of like a grizzly bear in human form. If this were a shape-shifting fantasy film, he would morph into a bear. Marcy would be an otter. Ella would be a lion cub. Me? A yellow Lab, at a guess. Maybe a manatee, on a good day.
Until relatively recently, Archie had the fur to go with his bear-like appearance – a big beard, long hair, sideburns, his face all but obliterated by the fuzz. Then he met Cally, who happens to be a hairdresser, and everything changed. She didn’t just give him a short back-and-sides – she gave him a whole new lease of life.
The car crash that claimed Simon also claimed his sister – Archie’s wife, Sandy. Simon was driving her to hospital because she was in labour with their second little girl, Meg. In the end Meg survived, but her mum didn’t. It fills me with joy that Cally is here now, because she is one of the most maternal women I’ve ever met. She’s kind and jolly and funny, and Archie is a different man now – and those girls have a second mama. Not one to replace the first, but one to help them grow up and turn into young women with a bit of feminine guidance. I’ve done my best but it’s just not the same.
