Page 48 of A Very Irish Christmas
‘Leonora, do shut up. This is Cassie. She’s a friend, and we’re working together. Work is a thing that normal people do to earn money – you wouldn’t know about that. You simply sleep with people to get it.’
Her eyes flare, but she still looks calm as she says: ‘Well, that didn’t exactly go as planned with you, my love, did it?’
Roberts joins us, and I’ve never seen such coldness in his eyes. He glares at her, silently, and that’s what seems to finally have an effect.
She knocks back her drink, calls Jasper, and walks towards the door. I see her pause near Ryan’s table, and his face is deadly. Cheering breaks out in the pub as she leaves, and Martin the comedian cries: ‘Ding dong, the witch is dead!’
Charles looks tired and shaken as he says: ‘I’m sorry about that. She’s a handful at the best of times, and even worse when she’s here and has to face up to things she’d rather forget. Look, can we reconvene tomorrow? I must get home – ideally before she does!’
I assure him that everything is fine, and go to the bar to get a drink. Orla already has a glass of Merlot poured for me, and grimaces in sympathy as I grab hold of it.
‘Is that woman a professional bitch,’ I ask, ‘or just a talented amateur?’
‘Oh, very much the professional – in a league of her own, that one! Pay no mind. She’s like one of those storms that blows all the trees down – here and gone in a day, leaving the wreckage behind her.’
I nod, sip my drink, and take some deep breaths before rejoining Ryan and Eileen. She pats my hand, and whispers: ‘She’s all fur coat and no knickers, sure!’
It makes me laugh, which is exactly what I need. Ryan’s expression is grim, and he runs his hands through his hair.
‘I’ll help with the pictures,’ he says seriously, ‘but I won’t step foot in that house until she’s gone.’
NINETEEN
Orla drops me off at Bancroft Manor the next day, along with Eejit, who simply hopped into the back of her car and curled up in a ball.
‘It’s fierce weather we’re having,’ Orla says, glancing at him. ‘I’m glad someone’s finally won his heart, poor thing. I always hated the thought of him out in the cold.’
I’m glad, too – but beneath that I am also worried about what will happen to him when I leave. When I go home, will he stray again? Or will he latch on to someone else? I really hope so, because he’s a great dog. I wonder about taking him back with me, and lose a few minutes imagining all the technicalities involved. Pet passports, long haul flights – it all seems a bit daunting, but I’ll look into it.
I wave goodbye to Orla, and hope I’ve left it late enough to avoid Leonora. No such luck, I soon realise. I can hear her dulcet tones from outside.
The front door is open, and Jasper the Second is running around the grass. He has one of the Christmas tree decorations in his mouth, and is delighted with himself. Eejit prowls over to him, standing perfectly still as the giddy puppy licks him and jumps all over him. He lets out a low yip, which clearly translatesas ‘back off, buddy’, and Jasper immediately rolls onto his back with his legs in the air. I rub his furry belly, grab the now-discarded robin-on-a-string, and make my way inside.
The raised voices are coming from the Blue Room, and I consider simply skipping off to another part of the house. The dogs have other ideas, though, and I have to follow them through.
Georgie is sitting on the couch, legs tucked tightly beneath her, chewing on her nails. Jasper jumps up next to her, and she cuddles him close. Allegra is waving a fireplace poker in the air, and Roberts has a restraining hand on her shoulder. At the centre of it all is Leonora, which I suspect is exactly where she wants to be. Some women just aren’t happy unless they’re causing drama.
‘You okay?’ I say to Georgie, walking to sit beside her.
‘I will be,’ she whispers, giving me a forced smile. ‘When the crazy ladies shut up. It’s been going on for a while now. It’d be quite an amusing performance if not for the fact that I’m genetically related to them.’
‘Where’s your father?’
‘Doing something horribly grown up like talking to his accountant. I hope he’s in a soundproofed room.’
I meet Roberts’s eyes and raise my brows in a question. He shakes his head, and I stay where I am. This has nothing to do with me, and any intervention I make will probably only add fuel to the fire.
I’m not sure what the last sentence was, it was being yelled as I arrived, but Leonora’s response is an angry: ‘Why should I care what you think? You didn’t even know who I was when I turned up last night!’
‘I may be losing my marbles,’ Allegra shouts back, waving her poker, ‘but I still know a tramp when I see one!’
‘Better a tramp than a stuck-up old cow like you!’
‘Get out of my house before I skewer you, you whore!’
My eyes widen at the language coming from their mouths. These are both very aristocratic ladies who probably went to the best schools in the land, but they sound like a pair of angry fishwives.
Allegra breaks free from Roberts and actually makes a run at her nemesis, brandishing her weapon. Leonora screams, and has the good sense to flee. Eejit chases her out of the room, eager to join in the game, and Jasper follows. I hear her running up the stairs, both dogs barking, and don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
