Page 66 of A Very Irish Christmas
She winks at Ryan as she says this, and he grins back at her, nodding his agreement.
‘Bear in mind, now, that none of this was talked about very much – they were hard times, and that made for hard people, so. A lot of what went on in the past was hidden, and Ireland seems to have an endless supply of rugs to sweep things under.’
My mind immediately goes on high alert, recalling the various national scandals that my nanna commented on as they were exposed – forced adoption, the awful Magdalene Laundries, sexual abuse within the church. She sees my eyes widen, and lays a hand over mine, obviously guessing where my thoughts have led.
‘It was nothing like that, Cassie. Like I said, she had a man, and they became engaged when she was maybe seventeen or eighteen – it sounds young now, but it was normal back then. But as soon as he was old enough, during the Second World War, he ran away to England and joined the army.’
Ryan leans forward, obviously interested, and says: ‘I guess that didn’t go down well?’
‘No, it did not. From what I hear, Nora’s daddy was a proud Irishman, and he wasn’t pleased. Felt like Nora’s fella had shamed them.’
My head is spinning, and I’m not processing this as quickly as I would like.
‘Hang on, I’m confused,’ I say. ‘I thought the South was neutral during the war?’
‘It was,’ Ryan confirms. ‘But it’s emerged since that thousands of men went and joined up. Those that came home were often not treated well.’
‘But why? Why was it such a disgrace?’
The two of them share looks, and Deirdre says: ‘It’s hard to explain, but the politics were complicated at the time. Ireland had basically been at war itself in the not-so-distant past, fighting for independence. There was a lot of bitterness, a lot of anger. A lot of resentment towards the British. Nora’s man was far from alone in what he did, but in our family, it caused trouble. I don’t even know his name – her daddy banned it from being mentioned ever again!’
‘But she was single when she moved to the States,’ I insist, trying to fit the pieces together. ‘She got a job in a hat shop, and met my grandfather and married him. Therewasno other man.’
‘That’s because he never made it home. He was killed in the Normandy landings I believe. Your poor nanna must have been heartbroken, but wasn’t even allowed to speak his name in the family home… apparently there was some huge disagreement, and she was told she was lucky he was dead so he couldn’t drag her down with him. You can’t imagine, now, can you? They were very different times. To have to live like that, hiding her pain. Terrible. Nobody could blame her for leaving.’
I stare at Deirdre, adding up dates and piecing together information. Nora arrived in the States in 1951, I think, when she was twenty-six. That means she lived at home, with a father who refused to let her grieve, for years after the war.
‘Why did she stay so long?’ I ask. ‘Why didn’t she just move out?’
‘I’d be guessing that she couldn’t. She’d have had no money or independence, and I know her mammy was sick and diedsometime in the late forties. Maybe that’s why she stayed? Or maybe she was saving for her fare? We’ll probably never know. I was hoping that you could maybe fill in some of the blanks for us.’
I shake my head, trying to dredge up any memory of Nanna Nora mentioning any of this, or my dad knowing about it – but I come up blank.
‘No, I’m sorry. It was like her life started when she arrived in New York. It’s… God, it’s so sad! She was such a wonderful woman, Deirdre, she really was. She never seemed miserable or heartbroken, she was always full of life. She only died earlier this year, just before her 100thbirthday, and right up until the end she was singing and drinking her Guinness and cracking jokes…’
‘That sounds like one of us, sure,’ Deirdre replies, smiling at me. ‘I’m sorry I’ve upset you, darling – it’s a sad tale. But tell me about her life after the sadness – tell me what happened to her! I’ve always been fascinated, I truly have.’
I nod, and swipe away tears. What happened to Nora was awful, but it doesn’t negate the rest of her life, does it? She did go on to marry, have a child, build a whole new future for herself.
‘She had a good life,’ I say, fighting back the emotion. ‘She settled in New York, and married my granddad, Brendan O’Hara. They had one son, my dad, and he had me and my sister, Suzie. She lost my granddad when she was in her sixties, but she never seemed to let anything defeat her. She liked her gardening, and she took art classes at the community college, and she had a wide circle of friends. She was a wonderful cook – I grew up eating her soda bread and colcannon and apple cake. She was kind and caring, and so damn funny – she cracked me up, she really did! I still can’t believe she’s gone… now I have all these questions to ask her, and no way to do it!’
Ryan looks me in the eyes, and says: ‘You already know everything you need to know about her, Cassie. Everything that matters. She sounds like an incredible lady.’
‘She was. She really was. And I know all of this will settle in my mind eventually – I just wish I’d known earlier.’
‘Ah, sure look it,’ announces Deirdre, ‘she clearly wanted to leave the past where it was, and who can blame her? She lived life to the full, it seems.’
‘I think so, yeah. I often thought that about her – she always seemed so full of spirit. Ready to take on the world even in her nineties.’
‘That’s what she learned, I suppose,’ Deirdre says. ‘To enjoy the moment. We should all be so wise!’
We chat for a while longer, Deirdre giving me a potted history of the family and showing me pictures of her parents and children. Ryan takes some pictures of the two of us together, and Deirdre records a little video message for my dad, inviting him to come and stay.
‘You might regret that,’ I say. ‘He retired last year and he’s been bored silly ever since. He’ll probably be on the next flight!’
‘And he will be very welcome, as will you, Cassie. Not so sure about you, Ryan – reckon my fella would get a fit of the green-eyed monster if I brought you home!’
‘As he should, Deirdre,’ Ryan replies easily. ‘You’re a fine-looking woman.’
