Page 45 of A Very Irish Christmas
‘Thank you, Mrs Devlin – and Martin, believe me I have looked at selling my Jag. But in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s over fifteen years old, so no quick fixes there I’m afraid. I do, though, hopefully have a solution – I want to make the most of the manor, and more importantly make money from it.
‘Money that will pay for its upkeep, pay to keep the village in good condition, continue to provide you all with fair wages. Plus – I’m as selfish as the next man – ensure Georgina’s future, and allow her to be independent. Nobody wishes there was a magical pot of family cash that I could endlessly dip into more than I do – but there isn’t. You know how we live up there – it’s not all Champagne and caviar, it’s also closed off rooms and enormous fuel bills.’
‘That’s the truth of it,’ responds Mary Catherine. ‘Your man there’s not lying – I fair freeze to death when I’m doing the cleaning!’
More laughter follows, and I start to unclench a little.
‘What would happen to us,’ Cormac asks from behind the bar, ‘if you sold the estate?’
‘Frankly I don’t know,’ replies Charles. ‘Obviously, if it comes to that, I’ll do my best to secure a buyer who will treat you all fairly – but at the end of the day, it won’t be up to me anymore.’
‘So it’s better the devil you know, is that what you’re saying?’
That question comes from Ryan, who is sitting with his arms crossed, staring at us intently. Uh-oh, I think, this could be where it all goes horribly wrong. If Charles rises to the bait, or reacts the way he usually does to Ryan, then we could be in trouble.
‘Fair point, Ryan,’ Charles says, his tone even and neutral. I can see it’s taking some effort, but he’s not stupid – he knowshe has to handle this the right way. ‘And I suppose yes is the answer. I hope that none of you see me as the devil. We’ve come a long way since your families first started coming here, and I certainly don’t see us as master and servant. But if I am the devil, then I’m one who has tried his very best to do things correctly.’
The two men make eye contact, and you could hear a pin drop in here. I’m kind of wishing that Martin ‘Hot Air’ Byrne might chime in to break the tension.
Ryan seems to turn over his answer, and nods abruptly.
‘Okay, Your Lordship,’ he says after a few tense seconds. ‘Good enough. There are far worse devils out there, we all know that. So, why are we all here? What are you expecting us to do about it, if you’re not telling us the rents are going up?’
‘Well, first of all, let me say that this was all Cassie’s idea – so you can blame her!’
I hold my hands up in acknowledgement, and hope he’s not going to ask me to make a speech. I don’t mind chipping in, but I hate being in the spotlight. There’s a ripple of laughter around the room, so at least I’m good for something.
‘I met with some potential investors in London recently,’ he continues, ‘in an attempt to get some backing for my plans. Those plans at the time were quite vague – making the house available for weddings, parties, that kind of thing. Cassie, as you might know, is actually a professional events planner back home in New York, and she had several other very excellent suggestions.’
‘Lap dancing bar?’ shouts Martin again, and somebody lobs a full packet of Taytos at his head to shut him up. He shrugs, opens the pack, and starts eating them.
‘Most definitely not, though I’m sure you’d be first in the queue, Martin! No, some of her ideas included wellness retreats – yoga, massages, that kind of thing – art classes, cookeryclasses, corporate events. She pointed out how versatile the place could be, and how many options we could offer.’
‘That’s a good idea, sure,’ says Sarah, who runs the tea rooms. ‘Me and my sister were at one of those wellness thingies last year. We spent most of it drinking the Champagne, like, but the place wasn’t any better than yours, Charles. And Eileen could do your baking classes! Nobody better in the land!’
Everyone agrees with this, and before long people are shouting out their own ideas. Someone suggests fishing weekends, another offers up bird-spotting, and Mary Catherine throws in ‘murder mystery dinners in full Agatha Christie costume’, which is actually an excellent concept. Martin, who I am fast learning is the village clown, kindly offers to be a nude life model for the art classes.
‘They’d pay you good money to keep your clothes on there, Martin!’ he gets told, and pretends to look offended. As he’s in his seventies and has a magnificent beer belly, I suspect that’s true.
Charles lets them have their head for a while longer, then regains their attention by raising one arm in the air.
‘These are all wonderful ideas!’ he says. ‘I’m glad you can all see the potential. But before we make any of these things happen, there’s work to be done, and investment to be found. We need to decorate, and buy new furniture, and look into things like a massage suite or small spa. We need to refurbish some of the rooms so they’re suitable for guests, and look at boring issues like insurance, and suppliers, and marketing. And before we can do any of that, we have to find the money.’
‘There’s an awful lot of “we” being used there, Charles,’ Eileen points out. ‘And while we all accept that you not selling is for the good of all of us – that we need you and you need us – I’m still not hearing you get to the point. What are you after?’
Charles nods, and replies: ‘Basically I need your help to make Bancroft Manor look like all of the things we just discussed. Cassie believes, and I trust her on this, that to attract the financial backing, we have to show what we’re made of. Her idea is to stage all of this, just for one day, so we can take photos and video, and really show the place off. We need people to play the roles of guests. We need help setting up a big dinner. We need someone to pretend to lead classes. We need all kinds of things – and we need them quickly, because I’m due to go back to the investment company in January.’
There’s a momentary silence, and then everybody seems to want to talk at once. Charles holds up his hand again, and says: ‘Cassie, anything to add before we discuss things further?’
I take a deep breath, and look around the room. I see all the familiar faces, and note that Ryan is giving me one of his lopsided grins, raising his eyebrows as though daring me to speak. I can do this, I tell myself – I am among friends.
‘Look,’ I begin, ‘I haven’t been here long, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a bunch of people with so many different skills, and so much energy. I think that’s also what we need – it’s not just someone to set up tables or whatever, it’s everything that you bring with you. This is a big ask, but I think it’s doable – with your help. Plus, it occurred to me while Charles was speaking that this isn’t just about saving the estate. It could be a really fantastic opportunity for all of you too.’
I pause, wondering if I’m out of order, but Charles gives me an encouraging nod and I go on.
‘He mentioned suppliers – well, I think he has them sitting right here in this room. There are farms all around us as well. If this takes off, it wouldn’t just make money to keep Bancroft afloat – it would mean more business for you all. More jobs. More scope for entrepreneurship. More everything.’
‘That’s true!’ Charles replies, looking enthused. ‘Why would I look elsewhere for someone to create a wedding cake when I have Eileen, or source wine when I have Cormac? Why would I employ a beautician when Orla is here?’
