Page 64 of Secrets of Starshine
“I need a haircut,” he replies firmly. He’s not actually wrong – all my careful work back in December is being undone.
“Oh. Well, I’m sure you could have found someone closer to home to do that for you – like, less than 250 miles away?”
“Probably. But I wanted you to do it.”
Jo steps in at this point, and directs him to a chair. She winks at me over his shoulder, and says: “Right, I’ll go and finish those coffees and leave you to it, Cally.”
She walks out of the room, and I hear the sound of the radio being switched on in the back, probably in an attempt to give us some privacy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out there’s more than a client relationship going on here.
I still haven’t moved, and I’m still flailing for words. I have spent every minute I’ve been at home trying not to think about this man, and now here he is, larger than life, invading my space.
I shake myself out of it, and let myself switch on the auto-pilot – forget that this is Archie, forget how much turmoil seeing him again is causing. This is simply a customer who needs a haircut.
I drape a towel around his shoulders, careful not to touch him – I’m not sure my auto-pilot is that reliable – and spritz his hair with water. I get my scissors, and go to work. It’s nowhere near the challenge of last time; it’s really just a tidy up and a trim of the existing style, but I still concentrate hard on what I’m doing. Concentrating on his hair means I can avoid his eyes in the mirror.
I work in silence, forgoing the usual salon chatter, because really, what would be the point of that? Of me asking Archie if he has any holidays planned, or how his Christmas was, or any of the usual conversation I’d fall back on? I’m still processing the fact that he’s even here, never mind looking for new information.
“Your beard needs a trim,” I say absent-mindedly, once I’m happy with his hair.
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that. I think it’s time for it to come off completely.”
I finally meet his gaze, and try not to melt under the scrutiny of those familiar green eyes.
“What? You mean, like, clean-shaven? Isn’t that a bit of a major life move for you?”
“It is,” he replies, smiling. “I remember you saying I was using my hair and my beard as a shield, as something to hide behind. And now, I’ve decided that I don’t want to hide any more.”
This is an announcement that seems to carry far more significance than a shave, and I tilt my head in query. He is the one who has come all the way to Liverpool, he is the one who has walked into my world and disrupted it again – so I think it’s only fair that he is the one who explains himself.
“Okay,” he adds, letting out a small laugh, “I can see you’re not going to make this easy for me…so, I made a mistake, Cally. A very big mistake.”
“I see. And what was it?”
“It was letting you go. It was fooling myself into thinking that my life would be simpler without you. It was telling myself the lie that I was doing it for the girls, when really I was doing it because I was scared.”
I nod, both unable and unwilling to respond at this point. My emotions are jangling, and I need to hear him out before I can reach the stage of participation.
“After you left,” he continues, keeping his eyes on mine, “the girls missed you. I thought they’d get over it, and they probably would, eventually. But then I realised that I missed you – and that I didn’t want to get over it. I just wanted you back. I know everything is complicated, I know I’m asking a lot – asking you to take a chance on us. On me. But Cally, I’m asking anyway – will you consider coming back? Coming home? Taking that chance? I don’t know how you’ve been feeling since you left, but I’ve been a mess without you. I suppose that might be because I love you, and I don’t want this to end. I want this to begin. I’m all in.”
He takes a deep breath after his speech, and I can see how much it has taken to make it. To be so brave. To expose himself in this way.
To tell me that he loves me.
I change my scissors, and start to trim down his beard. If he wants the whole thing gone, I’ll have to attack it with the clippers first. As I work, I have no idea why I am still doing it – why I haven’t replied. All I know is that I need to keep busy, need to stay active. Need to think about what he’s said, and how it has made me feel.
When I’m done with the first trim, I stand back and examine him. He looks dreadful, tense and stressed, which is maybe to be expected. I reach out, and gently stroke his jaw. I hear a DJ on the radio talking about the all-time greatest love songs for Valentine’s Day, and know that Jo will be fighting the urge to eavesdrop.
I lean down, and I kiss him on the lips.
“I’ll take the chance,” I say quietly. “What’s life without a little bit of danger, eh?”
EPILOGUE
TWO MONTHS LATER
I sigh as the film ends, and the lights go up. I snuggle into Archie’s shoulder, and shift a sleepy Meg on my lap.
We are in the village hall, and as the latest addition to the Starshine Cove community, I have been given the honour of choosing the movie for film night. There was never any real doubt – it wasThe Empire Strikes Back.
