Page 66 of The Ranger
Do you love me, Cole?
Fuck.
It’s four in the morning, and Scarlett’s words are going around and around inside my head like a goddamn Ferris wheel.
I need sleep.I’m undercover searching for the mole who’s trying to steal a top-secret military chip so it doesn’t land in enemy hands, and about to become a dad in a matter of days or weeks.
I need fucking sleep.
Not trying to do what men for millennia have failed to do; understand what a woman is thinking.
I toss the covers back and head to the kitchen.After pouring a large glass of water, I pad over to the large ranch slider that overlooks my yard and take a few sips.Aside from a nice path of grass, fruit trees and a hot tub, there’s not a lot to look at.I need to get some landscaping done, which was always the plan when I bought this place.Strangely enough, I’ve privately been going around in circles—even before learning Scarlett was pregnant—about what I wanted.
Do I set it up knowing I’d have a family one day or create a kickass adult’s playground with a huge BBQ and rock pool?I now have my answer, but it’s not a priority today.
Fuck the landscaping; I need to work out what the hell I do about my feelings for Scarlett.
You are not my partner, boyfriend or husband.
Every time I think I’ve worked out what we are, things get jumbled.I am attracted to her.Hell, I want to fuck her every single time I see her.I like the feeling of her in my arms, snuggling up to me on our Thursday nights.
I think about her day and night.But is that because she’s carrying my child?Probably, but it's not like she’s a project.I care about her.I find myself smiling at stupid shit she’s said.
Or when I find her watching me and biting her nail with lust pouring off her.
I really like that part.
But finally sinking inside her, fuck, that I can’t get out of my head.
So, I imagine a checklist in front of me on the glass.Yes, to feeling responsible for protecting her and providing for her.My.Kid.Is.In.Her.Body.Yes, to desiring that hot body of hers—pregnant and otherwise.Yes, to enjoying her company when she is being a sassy jerk and curled up, trusting me finally.
But love?
I don’t know.
I’ve never been in love before.
I thought I was in love, but those relationships ended, and I was able to walk away without looking back.I don’t consider that true love.
If I never saw Scarlett again...?
My chest tightens, and I almost crush the damn glass.
Okay, so maybe there is something here I’m not fully acknowledging.Something more than just her growing our kid.
Do you love me, Cole?
I know I hate not seeing her for a few days.
I know I’d rather be lying in her bed every night.
I know Thursday is my favorite day of the week.
Shit.
Am I in love with Scarlett?
You know the answer; you just have to admit it.
