Page 63 of The Ranger
That was it.The tears fell down my cheeks, and I was incapable of stopping them.
“Oh, sweetheart.We’re so happy you are part of the family now.You and the baby.”She threw her arms around me and, for the first time in my life, I felt true motherly love.
Maybe Maggie would show me what that looks like?Because I’ve been scared, I won’t be a good mom.It’s not like I had a great example in my life.
I guess my mother loves me.
In her own way.
She just doesn’t show it.
I invited her today, and she made up some rubbish story about not having the funds to travel and how she had to go to the weekend bingo.How they relied on her.
Fucking hell.
I had zero expectations that she would show up, but in that moment, it hurt.I mean, her daughter was having a baby, but bingo is her priority?
And people wonder why I’m defensive and tough.
I’m not tough; I’m a survivor.
There is a difference.
And honestly, I’m tired of being strong.
“Fine, Mom, whatever.I’ve invited you.Task crossed off my list.”
“You don’t have to be an asshole about it, Scarlett Walton.”
I should have zipped my lips, but...I’m me, so I didn’t.
“I’m the asshole?I’m fucking pregnant, and you haven’t found the time to save a few dollars to travel to California for the birth or my baby shower.Catch a damn train.A bus.I’m having a baby,” I yelled.
“People have babies all the time.Settle down,” Mom said, as if I were the most annoying thing in her world.
I am.
“Your grand-fucking-child,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Send me pictures.Video conference.”
“Fine.Whatever.Enjoy your life.”
“God, you’re so dramatic.I hope you don’t pass that on to the kid,” she added, but I was used to her unfeeling rudeness.All I heard wasto the kid.As if it meant nothing to her.
“Nice gaslighting, Mom.Go get some fucking therapy.”I hung up.
Then I’d slammed my phone down on the sofa and wished I had one of those old-fashioned phones so it was a lot more satisfactory.
What a contrast to this moment with Maggie, Cole’s mom.She was warm and loving, tears filling her eyes at the thought of our baby arriving.
We are so excited you’re part of the family.
I don’t know what that means in reality, but her words meant everything to me today.
“I’m not, though,” I sniffed.
“As far as we’re concerned, you are,” Caylee said, rubbing my arm.
