Page 61 of The Ranger
I fight the urge to laugh.You have to be careful around these alpha men.Laugh at one joke and their ego expands a million-fold.
“You should never comment on a woman’s figure.”
He laughs as I close the door.
Then I smile.
Forgetting the van and feeling safe having one of the BHS guys here, I focus on my baby shower.
“Do you miss the twins?”I ask Briar as I lower myself onto the sofa next to her.
“God, no.Thank your lucky stars you’re only having one.”She laughs.“Although ask me in two hours and I will probably say yes.Knowing Aidan is with them helps.When we both leave them with a sitter, that’s hard.”
I swallow and lay my hand on my belly.It won’t be the same for me.I’llhaveto hand our baby over to Cole, who will probably be out with his new girlfriend or wife.I won’t have much say in the matter.
“Hey,” Briar reaches for my hand.“You’ll be fine.You have us.Cole has been great, right?”
“Yeah, he’s been...no, good.Amazing.”
Around us, everyone is chatting and jovial, but I feel like crying.Cassy notices and shares a look with Briar.Her hand tightens.
“Want to go talk?”
No, I don’t want to talk.I want to turn back time and sew up my vagina so Cole can’t get inside it.I want to tell my drunk self that flirting with him is a bad idea.
But I do want everyone to leave so I can just cry for once.
A tear slips out, and I wipe it away.“Allergies.”
Briar rubs my hand.
God, I wish she wasn’t so nice.
“More like hormones and the terror of what lies ahead.”
“Okay, well, you could have sugar-coated it, Briar.You are a terrible friend.”I brush the other stupid tears away, and she smiles.
I wasn’t joking.
A good friend would lie.
Cassy stops in front of me, essentially blocking me from everyone else.“Okay?”
I nod.
“You need a moment?”
“No.I need a time machine so I can go back and never let Cole put his dick near me.”The first time.
God, I hope the baby can’t hear me.I don’t regret creating this special thing inside me.I just wish that the father and I were in love and hadn’t royally fucked up our lives.
“Is she okay?”Cole’s mom joins us.
Jesus Christ, did she hear the dick comment?
“I have gas, that’s all.”I wave out my hand, and Briar sniggers.“Let’s get this party started.”
And over with.
