Page 51 of The Ranger
I pulled out, flopped onto my back and stared up at the ceiling.When I laid a hand on her hip to keep us connected, she didn’t respond.
“I—”
“Just go, Cole,” Scarlett whispered.
Frowning, I climbed off the bed, cleaned up in the bathroom and then stood in the doorway for a short time.In the moonlight creeping through the curtains, I could see her lying on her side with her eyes open.
I crossed the room and covered her, then did something I never normally did when she was awake.I kissed her forehead.
“Your barriers are tougher to get past than Alcatraz.”I shook my head.
“Clearly not,” I heard her mumble as I reached the door.
I smiled sadly, then left.
Now, as I step out of my shower and towel dry my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder who I am.
Am I a man who takes from a woman without consent?She consented.Am I a man who lets a woman pregnant with my child keep him away when it appears there is more between us?
I’m not sorry for fucking her.I loved every dirty, forbidden minute of it.I just don’t know what she wants.
Or what I want.
For four months I’ve focused on doing the right thing, making sure they were both cared for and their needs met.While also getting my head around it.
Now, we have only weeks left before the baby is born.It’s like a really fucking loud clock ticking.
This was not my life plan.I was always going to do better than my father.My mom is disappointed, but hearing that Scarlett invited her to the baby shower this weekend has made me happy.Mom texted me saying she was thrilled.
I’ve watched them form a relationship over the past few months, and I think it’s good for everyone.Especially my child.
Having a good relationship with the mother of my child is even more important—I know that after seeing my parents split—so what we did last night was stupid.
It was my fault.
Yet, if I knew Scarlett would sit down and talk with me about how she’s feeling, we might be able to be honest with one another.There is something real here, and I don’t just mean lust.
Christ, maybe it is the hormones.
I run the towel over my body, feeling my cock thicken as I recall her swollen flesh under my tongue and how wet she was.Andsoquickly, given she was supposedly asleep.
These recent intimate moments might be the first time we’ve fucked since our first night together, but there have been signs.
Every Thursday, she falls asleep in my arms on the sofa, and I carry her to bed.Then there are the foot rubs and the way I touch her when we are walking side by side.
She lets me do it.
I push those boundaries, rubbing her upper back, dusting my hand over her hips.
Scarlett never stops me.
I think I do it to test her, unconsciously.
But also, to imagine what it’d feel like to be happily married and expecting our child together as a couple.
That’s what I want.
The whole package.Even a goddamn picket fence.
