Page 107 of The Ranger
A prison guard who can kiss the socks off me.
I understand.We were kidnapped, and Zara has just been born, but it’s been three days.That’s a lot of time to spend almost every second with someone.
But also, if he left, I’d lose my mind.
Cole can’t win.
The good news is, after telling me to stay an extra day because of the condition I arrived in, the doctors say I can go home.
I’m excited but scared.
Every part of my body is sore.For different reasons.Childbirth, yes, but I was also physically harmed by those kidnapping monsters.
Knowing that Chen guy is still on the run has me holding Zara really tight.It’s why Cole hasn’t left, and, despite what I said, I am grateful.
I’m also hormonal as fuck.
I can’t get that damn kiss out of my head.
Fortunately, Cassy brought my overnight bag in when she visited, so I was able to make myself look and smell as nice as possible.
It’s like being on a date, but you look your worst.
As expected, Cole’s focus has been his daughter, not me.She’s his world, and it’s beautiful to watch.I just wish I were part of it.
Thankfully, I kept my head, and my expectations are realistic.Or perhaps I know life will let me down, so I never get my hopes up.
I climb out of bed while Cole sits in the armchair holding Zara.She’s asleep.His eyes shoot up to me in question.
“I’ll shower and then, by the time the doctor is here, you can take us home.”
His lips press tight together, and he nods.
I’ve already decided he can sleep on the sofa if he wants.Or he might offer to put security outside the house.I don’t care either way.
Lies, I do care.
Yet, I can’t.I feel like this clingy woman who is about to snap.I’m holding in all my emotions.I’m angry he kissed me like that.I’m angry he called me his wife.
I’m angry he wants Zara and not me.
Mostly...I’m scared.
While locked at that warehouse, I realized a lot of things, but that was then, and this is now.It’s amazing what fearing for your life does to your brain.
I can’t be that needy.
I will not be that woman who forces Cole to eventually say,hey, listen, you’re pretty and all, and thanks for having my baby, but let’s be friends.
Or worse,let’s be friends who fuck.
I couldn’t deal with that.
Although I’m vulnerable enough right now that I could agree to it, and I hate myself for that.He won’t date anyone else if I’m...god, listen to me.That is not the belief system of a strong, confident woman who loves and respects herself.
But I still could say yes.
I don’t trust myself.So, it’s better if I just send him home, and we discuss how this is going to work between us co-parenting Zara.
