Page 60 of Thorns of Blood
There was something about his expression that set my heart aflame with emotions. For a moment, neither one of us moved, and I found myself reaching for his neck. I traced the outlineof the Band-Aid with my finger, and for the first time in a long time, I enjoyed a man’s proximity.
My breathing quickened and unfamiliar longing unfurled in the pit of my stomach. But then I remembered the dream and instantly an icy feeling washed over me.
“You have nothing to fear with me, Lia.”
The terrifying part was that I believed him. Trust and hope, two damned things that could tear you apart so easily.
“Maybe there’s something you should fear with me, Giovanni,” I stated matter-of-factly.
He didn’t seem worried. “Fear my wife? Never.”
“I’ve killed many men.”
He chuckled. “So have I.”
It was evident that our sense of morality was skewed, but I knew there were certain lines that men like Giovanni and the Omertà didn’t cross. I, on the other hand, had crossed them. And I feared, if put in the same position, I would do it again. The thorns of blood had buried themselves so deeply within me that no cleansing could reach them. No amount of peroxide or bandages could ever mend those wounds.
“But have you caused the deaths of innocent women and children too?” I asked, steeling myself.
But Giovanni surprised me, like he often seemed to do.
“Decisions made by every mafia man have caused the deaths of innocents, including those of women and children. An illegally sold gun impacted an innocent in one way or another. Smuggled drugs destroyed not only users but their families. Do you judgeme?”
The tension in his voice overpowered my demons. At least for now.
“No.”
He tilted his head, not saying anything for a long time. “So who am I, or anyone else in the Omertà, cartel, or any other criminal organization, to judge you?”
I stilled, every nerve in my body standing at attention.
His words shifted something inside me. I didn’t know what it was, but it seemed to be exactly what I needed to hear.
“I dreamt… that I killed you.” I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I wanted to protect you, but?—”
I couldn’t even finish the sentence.
He studied me quietly. “And how did you feel about it?”
“I didn’t like it very much.” Just thinking about that dream sent pain piercing through my chest. His lips twitched, but before he could say anything else, I continued, “I don’t think it’s safe for us to sleep in the same room.”
Although Giovanni didn’t sleep in the bed with me, he refused to stay in another room, claiming we needed to share at least something for the marriage to be legit. Of course, we both knew he was full of shit. The first night I barely slept a wink, but as the nights went on and he never tried anything, I gradually relaxed.
“You can handcuff me,” he offered.
I rolled my eyes. “I attacked you. It's probably safer if you handcuff me.”
My heart thudded with the offer. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure where it came from or how the words found themselves spoken.
His jaw worked slightly, but then to my great relief, he shook his head.
“I don’t think so.” I drew in a sharp breath and then exhaled it with relief. “Now let’s try to get some sleep.”
TWENTY-THREE
GIOVANNI
Iwoke up at the crack of dawn with three hours of sleep under my belt.
