Page 82 of Scandalous Kingpin
I couldn’t do this anymore. Fearing I’d cave, I shifted away from him. “It’s for the best that we don’t see each other anymore. We need to move on, meet new people.”
He grabbed my wrist, his warm fingers curling tightly around my skin. I looked at where we were connected, then slowly lifted my eyes to his face to find his had darkened to stormy skies.
“I can’t accept that. I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes, but if I find you looking at any man, I’ll kill him.” The muscles in his jaw flexed. “I fucked up, but I’ll fix it. Fix myself. And youwillbe mine, Ivy. If it kills us both.”
My mouth dropped, but before I could say another word, he released my wrist and whistled. Then I heard the familiar bark and rustle of leaves getting closer and closer before Cobra slammed into me. I fell to my knees, laughing and hugging her to me as she licked my face.
“This isn’t goodbye, wife. I will see you soon.”
With a solemn nod, he turned around, and it was only then that I noticed another figure deeper in the woods: Dante DiLustro.
Throat thick and heart heavy, a single tear rolled down my cheek. Cobra nudged me with her head, and I cuddled into her as I watched my husband disappear into the dark.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
PRIEST
Therapy with Dr. Anna Violet Freud, who for unknown reasons sometimes went by Violet and other times as Anna, was no small or cheap feat.
Her Ph.D. from Harvard hung behind her, the evidence of her accomplishments undeniable. Nobody else between the States and Italy was good enough to deal with this shit. Or maybe Dr. Freud’s forays into the minds running the criminal underworld gave her a specific set of skills. From the sounds of it, she’d been treating more than a few people in my circles.
A week had passed since I left Ireland and my wife behind. It wasn’t a goodbye, though. I meant what I said to her that day. But itwasthe reason I found myself sitting in this room in Trieste, Italy, working out my shit so I could see her—have her—again.
Until then, I’d watch her from a distance. I’d purchased the Irish security company that had a monopoly in the country and could penetrate every corner of the island with the exception of people’s homes. It was the best thing—for now—to contain my restlessness and worry over her.
Dr. Freud’s voice interrupted my thoughts with her next request.
“If you could say one thing to your parents, with no consequences or judgment, what would it be?”
The clock’s ticking was the only sound in the room while Aisling, Papà, Dante, and I sat in a semicircle.
I reclined in my chair, resting an ankle on my knee as I contemplated her exercise. The air around me was thick with the unspoken deeds that were trapped in my soul.
Just as I opened my mouth to utter a white lie, my eyes narrowed.You need to work out your own problems and secrets. For your sake, Christian. So you can find happiness.
I would do this for her. For us. Forme.
Running a thoughtful hand across my jaw, I admitted the truth.
“I hated Vittoria. I hate Aisling too.” It was the truth, but not the whole truth. Dr. Freud couldn’t stop a spark of surprise from lighting in her eyes. Aisling’s lip quivered, but she remained seated, clutching her skirt. “A discontent between children and parents is hardly a novelty,” I mocked lightly.
Dr. Freud’s lips quirked, and to hide her reaction, she dropped her attention to her lap where an empty file lay.
“Tell me why, Christian,” Aisling asked, her eyes locked on me. “I’m tired of tiptoeing around you, desperate to get into your good graces. Yet, the only thing I’m running into are brick walls.” I gave her a blank look and her gaze wavered, but she powered on. “You’re buried so deep into your shell, I don’t know how to reach you.”
I focused on a dot on the wall right behind her and suddenly hated myself. Aisling’s last sentence fucked me over, an echo of similar words that Ivy uttered.
I hadn’t been a good man for a long time. However, I’d learned at too young of an age that the world was a dark place.I’d become so tainted that I started to believe darkness was the status quo. Only… as I sat here, my ears ringing, I realized I could get back to the light, and maybe this world I ruled could be gray.
“When children lack protection, or their parents are absent in times of need, resentment can form and follow them into adulthood,” Dr. Freud supplied tentatively.
Papà raised a brow. “That’s impossible. My sons were protected at all costs.”
Dr. Freud didn’t even spare him a glance, her eyes locked on me. “I’d like to give your sons the floor.”
When I didn’t answer, Dante cleared his voice. “Mother… Vittoria… was a vindictive bitch. She hated Christian because he was a reminder of Papà’s infidelity, and she hated me because I looked like him. She… wielded her power over us, as you shrinks might say. But really, she fucking terrorized us.” He cleared his throat and brushed a nonexistent piece of lint off his shirt. He might seem unaffected, but I knew my brother.
“Physical abuse?” Dr. Freud asked while Papà and Aisling sat frozen, unable to process Dante’s words. “Or sexual?”
