Page 23 of Thorns of Silence
There lived a child in this world who I thought about every single day, loving him or her unconditionally. The regret was eating me up. I should have been stronger, braver,somethingmore. Were they loved? Where were they, this child of mine?
My fingers danced faster and faster as the world around me faded. I couldn’t hear it, but I sensed everything. The vibration. The ache. The ambiance of hundreds of years of performance that played out in this very space. The darkness of the stage as eyes stared from every corner. I felt endless and powerful here, the world a wide-open stage, bowing to me and my pain.
My every cell came alive and I closed my eyes, my soft brown curls spilling down my shoulder. I felt so free. Maybe even hopeful.
I was in a field of dandelions where he and our baby were mine, where they belonged to me. God, I never wanted to resurface from this daydream.He doesn’t remember me; I can’t forget him. Hate you; love you.
Memories rushed through my mind as tears stung my eyes, hoping to drown out the world so I’d forget how much it hurt to wake up and realize that the little life I’d grown for nine months was gone.
I loved him; I hated him. He didn’t come, and even after all these days, weeks, months, years… It fucking hurt the same as it did the day I realized he’d abandoned me.
Dread curdled in my stomach as thoughts of him whipped around me. Why was he doing this to me? Why couldn’t he just stay away and leave me alone? He was already heavily at work destroying my peace of mind.
Abruptly, I slammed the fallboard down, the vibration sending goosebumps racing over my skin.
What the hell was I going to do? I would never be free while he was alive, and there was still so much he could take from me. My sanity. My peace of mind.
My eyes opened and I shook my head. My hands trembled as I brushed my fingers over the dark maple lid, taking deep breaths.
One encounter with Dante was all it took for me to crack and now there was no stopping it from expanding. I could feel it like chapped skin, danger seeping into the crevices of my hardened shell.
I felt his gaze on me. I’d felt it since we crossed paths again. I raised my head, my eyes roaming the empty seats in the auditorium, then up to the balconies. I couldn’t see him, but Iknewhe was here.
My heartbeat picked up its pace.
It should frighten me how attuned my body was to him. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t normal. I never thought to fight it before, but I would now.
I rose to my feet, grabbing my phone and my bag. I threw it over my shoulder, then made my way out of the auditorium. The hallway leading to the front of the building was empty, the dim light providing just enough guidance.
As I turned the corner, I ran into someone.
My phone fell out of my hand and I reached down to pick it up but froze when a pair of bruised hands reached it first. I lifted my gaze to the man’s and groaned inwardly. Exactly the person I was trying to avoid.
Erik Costa.
The principal who might as well be labeled a prima donna. He had the attitude to match it.
“Sorry.” His lips moved, and I stared at him in confusion, taken aback by his apology. Everyone knew Erik never apologized toanyone. Maybe whoever had put the bruises on his face gave him a concussion too, turning him decent all of a sudden.
No matter.
I stood up, snatching the phone from his hands. I tilted my head and went to sidestep him when his fingers wrapped around my forearm.Here we fucking go.
I started to yank my hand out of his grip, but the expression on his face had me pausing. His eyes darted behind me and I followed his gaze. What was he looking at?
I shook my head when Erik waved his hands around me, a visible tremor in them.
“I’m sorry for everything.” My eyebrows met my hairline at the heartfelt expression on his bruised face. “When I asked you out on a date, I didn’t take your rejection well. It’s me who’s an ass… Not you.” He was speaking painfully slowly, making me grow more uncomfortable by the second. “I’m sorry for being a bully.” His eyes flicked behind me again, but this time I didn’t turn. “I’m a douche, and you’re magnificent. A muse.”
A douche. A muse.
There was only one person I knew who used that word and was willing to dish out bruises. I suspected Erik’s come-to-Jesus revelation might have something to do withhim.
I pulled up the notes section on my phone and typed a message.
It’s fine. Just stay away from me.
He nodded so rapidly that just looking at him gave me a case of motion sickness. He scurried away and I remained glued to my spot, waiting. Once he disappeared from my sight, I resumed my path out of the building.
