Page 10 of Thorns of Silence
I had made it only a month into my first year of college in Paris when I had to take sick leave. Grandma used her Hollywood fame and influence with the dean to keep me from getting kicked out. She even got the chancellor to grant me permission to take classes online.
My days since Grandma brought me to this clinic, after making up some elaborate story that required seclusion, were filled with texting and FaceTiming my sister and friends and working on my studies.
She was so convincing that everyone had bought it, even Papà.
I’d have gone mad without my course modules. There would still be catching up to do once I was back, but Grandma made it clear I wouldn’t be leaving with a baby in my arms.
But still, I hoped. And still, I wished.
I kept bringing up my desire to keep the baby, although I was terrified. I’d never even so much as held a baby, I’d never even changed a diaper before. I knew nothing about them.
“You’re too irresponsible. You disgraced yourself and our family.” Grandma repeated it over and over again. Her actual words were that she’d leave me penniless so I’d get a taste of real life. It was heartless, but she’d called it tough love.
If that happened, my baby would starve. I couldn’t do that to my child. It’d be cruel and selfish.
I slid off the hospital bed slowly, gripping my back with one hand while rubbing my big belly with the other. I slipped my feet into the hospital slippers and wobbled to the window, staring at the same view I had been for the past three months. As soon as my bump became too noticeable to conceal, Grandma whisked me to this facility without another word.
Except now, snow blanketed the grounds, making it almost painful to look at, hiding any hint of color for as far as the eye could see. Reminding me of the seasons changing without me.
Why wasn’t he coming?
The ache in my heart felt like someone had sliced my heart and soul wide open, then left me to bleed out. The pain was raw, consuming me just like Dante had so many months ago.
My hand on my stomach, I felt the life move inside me. It’d be any day now.
I reached into the pocket of my maternity dress for the emergency device. This was definitely an appropriate time to use it.
Grandma refused to compromise; they would take the baby from me. Nobody else knew about the baby, and I couldn’t pull my sister and friends into this. So I kept my secret to myself, although my lips burned to tell the world. Instead, all I told were lies.
I lowered my gaze to the small device, turning it over in my hands and studying it. It was meant to rescue me. Why was it failing?
Click. Breathe.
Click. He’d come for us.
Click. Time was running out.
I rubbed my belly, the pain unbearable. I wanted our baby to be happy, born surrounded with love, not shame.
“He’ll come for us,” I mouthed, my breath fogging up the glass, the hope in my heart dimming. “The three of us will be together.”
My lungs tightened, constricting in my chest.
If only Reina were here, I thought for the millionth time. Grandma threatened she’d pull my college funds if I told her. She didn’t want my sixteen-year-old sister tainted by my promiscuity. The only reason I agreed was because I didn’t want to see my baby sister upset. She’d worked her ass off, and the last thing I wanted to see was Grandma pull tuition funds from her too.
“Too young. Too stupid. Too blind.” Grandma’s words from earlier filled my skull and I hated that she was right. Fucking. Hated. It. “You and Reina are supposed to break the cycle,” she’d spat, frustration coloring her face. “Will we ever end this cycle of out-of-wedlock children?”
Her rant went on and on for the entire duration of the flight over the Atlantic. It made me remember Mamma and their arguments. A strangled garble of protest escaped my lips, and I was back to being five years old again.
“Worthless. Disgrace.” I still remembered the way turmoil flickered through Mamma’s gaze at Grandma’s harsh words. The way tears filled her eyes. Those were some of the last words I ever heard spoken before my illness took over.
Before the world turned silent.
I startled awake with perspiration on my temples, an ache in my heart, and a body cuddled close to me.
Reina slept soundly in my arms, the drugs leaving her system. I still couldn’t believe she was roofied. It could have ended a lot worse than it did, and although I knew it wasn’t fair of me, I blamed the Leone brothers for it.
They should screen their people better. They should have more bouncers in the club so women weren’t at risk of being taken advantage of. I smile for the first time since last night just thinking about how Raven showed that fucker. She smashed his skull with her beer bottle, and he probably wouldn’t be able to function properly for the foreseeable future.
