Page 85 of Devious Kingpin
“How many men have you killed?” His expression said it all. Many. “Do you ever… regret it?”
His eyes locked with mine. Same shade of blue. I used to think they were Brennans’ eyes. They weren’t.
“Regret is pointless, Jules.” His fingers tightened around me. “As long as we don’t kill the innocent ones, I can live with it all.”
“Really?”
“Better them than us.”
I gasped. Not from shock but out of relief. Better them than us. I couldn’t agree more.
“You want to know something, Kill?”
“Hmmm.”
“I agree with you,” I whispered. “Better them than us.” I turned my face to him so he could see me. Really see me. “I’m not like Wynter. She’s—” I searched for the right word, then finally settled for the simplest one. “She’s good. Forgiving. I’m not like that. Not even close.” My brother didn’t interrupt, but his gaze told me he knew it already. “I feel that same darkness I see in you. That same hunger for revenge. It claws at me, demanding I do something about it.”
One breath. Two breaths.
He nodded. “And that’s okay. Don’t ever be ashamed of it, Jules. Just promise me to be careful and not reckless.”
I smiled. Always my brother—understanding and protective. “I promise.” I leaned back into him. “I love you, brother.”
“I love you too, Jules.”
“Maybe we should go to Victoria’s Secret again and I will find you the perfect girl,” I mused, my eyes on the screen.
His chest vibrated as he tried to contain his laugh. “I’m afraid that trip will have to wait. Thank fuck.”
For the next five minutes, the news flipped over all the bad things happening in this city and the world. The silence stretched, almost suffocating us both. I loved my brother. He loved me. But somehow the two of us had drifted apart. It could be the differences in our lifestyles or maybe Killian had too much shit weighing him down.
“Killian, you know that hot older guy you were talking to back in Vegas?” I asked, breaking the silence and keeping my eyes on the television.
“What older guy?”
I mean, how many hot older guys did he talk to in Vegas. Only one, if I had to guess.
“The old dude,” I said, rolling my eyes. He gave me a blank stare. “Jesus, when I came up to you and you introduced him to me. Kian or something.”
“Ah, yes. What about him?”
“How do you know him?”
Killian shrugged. “I don’t. Not really.”
I sighed, keeping my temper from getting the best of me. I’d have to tread lightly. It was obvious Killian already saw through some of my walls.
“You were talking to him,” I pointed out.
“Yes.”
Jesus Christ. Men could be so damn dense sometimes.
“What did you talk about?” I tried a different approach.
This time Killian narrowed his gaze on me, giving me a strange look. “Why?”
I held my breath. My brother was good at reading people and he was particularly good at reading me. After all, it seemed he was one of the only ones who noticed something had changed about me and we were rarely in the same city.
