Page 25 of Thorns of Lust
Hate slithered through my veins for our mother. How could she say that to a little boy? To my Sasha. She was lucky to be dead or I’d kill her myself. I watched a little boy who’d grow up to be one of the best men I knew, rub his chest as if he wanted to ease his pain.
Mother roughly switched the baby again and a soft gasp left Sasha’s lips. His eyes were on the baby, like a protective wolf ready to pounce.
“Where’s Papa?” he asked again.
“He’s chasing his little whore and her bastard,” she hissed. “No matter what I do or give him, he chases his whore.”
“Father is good,” Sasha retorted, squaring his little shoulders and glaring at her.
“You’re just like him. Worthless.” Now I rubbed my chest, seeing how cruel our mother was to Sasha. I should stop playing it but something urged me on. “You brought a curse to our family, Sasha. You weren’t enough. He found another woman because I was busy with your constant crying and whining.” She lowered her gaze to the baby. “Just like this baby. Always crying. Always whining.” Her eyes returned to Sasha, her lips curled in disgust. “You’re so unlovable. No woman will love you. Just like your father. Unlovable.”
“But you love him,” Sasha pointed out in a small voice. He was so fucking smart and made me so proud.
“Never enough,” Mother muttered as she started to pace again. “Never enough. He doesn’t love me. I’ll never be enough. You can’t make someone be yours.”
She kept going round and round, muttering to herself and ignoring the baby’s screams. My screams. My chubby little face had turned red, then suddenly Mother stopped and lifted me as if I was a football to be thrown through the air.
M-maybe that wasn’t me. No mother would behave like that and act as if she was about to throw the baby through the air. But deep down I knew.
“Mama!” Sasha called out to her. “Give me Tatiana. I’ll feed her the bottle.”
Mother lowered her eyes and stared at Sasha. Then somehow he managed to take me and cradled me like he knew what he was doing. I’d bet all my money he’d held me more than my own mother by that point.
“I’ll never be good enough,” she muttered. “Just like you’ve never been enough.”
She started walking, passing Sasha when he called out, “Mama?” She didn’t answer as she opened the doors and air pushed through. “Mama?” he tried again.
She glanced over her shoulder. “I’m going to jump, Sasha.”
“No, Mama.” My chest squeezed for my brother. He should have never witnessed something like that. “No, please.” She cackled, crazed, her hair flowing through the wind. “Please, Mama. Stay.”
He reached out with one hand, while still holding me. “Stay for me. I’ll be good.”
Just as I hoped she’d see reason and how lucky she was to have Sasha, she uttered the words that would make me hate her memory.
”You’ll never be good enough. Not for me. Not for your father. Not for anyone. Nobody will stay for you. Better get used to it now, Sasha.”
She took a step forward and her body flew through the air. And as her body hit the ground, the sound of her skull cracking filled the air, but I felt nothing.
She was lucky to be dead, or I would have hunted her down and killed her myself.
TEN
KONSTANTIN
What-the-actual-fuck?
Marchetti, Romero, and I watched the videos on our phones. Our own pasts taunting us, the valuable information meant to break us. Not that it would. We’d destroy whoever was behind it.
The Thorns of Omertà might have been an old organization that started in Sicily, but it has since evolved. After the five kings of Italy had fallen, they started rebuilding in the shadows. It was no longer just the kings of Italy. We were kings of the world. The empire was vast and powerful, stretching wide - north, south, east, and west.
My eyes trained on the screen, just as Romero’s and Marchetti’s were trained on theirs, I watched another sin play out in front of my eyes.
It was the meeting I’d held with Sofia Catalano Volkov. Her husband was the Pakhan of Eastern Russia. Since his death, she’d been playing in that field, taking her revenge. The woman was a bit deranged if you asked me. Loved her blood play. I had killed and would kill many more times before my time was over. It was a necessary evil of my position. For her, on the other hand, it was enthralling. Killing had a direct link to her lust.
Like I said, deranged.
She wanted into the organization. We said no. She tried again. We said no again. But the fucking video didn’t have sound - first time ever. Goddamn it. To anyone outside our own organization, it’d look like I worked with the madwoman.
