Page 15 of Thorns of Lust
“Please, just take me home,” I whispered, shifting up into a sitting position. Vasili’s eyes flickered to my pants. Blood now stained most of my white pants and I grabbed someone’s jacket to hide it.
“You need stitches,” Sasha reasoned, keeping his voice soft.
“Then take me to a doctor,” I reasoned, keeping my eyes lowered. “I don’t want to go to your place, Vasili.”
“Why the fuck not?” he demanded to know with a growl. “We’re family. I won’t let you isolate yourself.”
The silence grew so deafening, it licked at my skin. Like a cold sweat against damp skin.
We didn’t sit in silence for long before a horn blared, making me jump. Sasha shoved his hand out the window and flipped them off. Vasili turned around and resumed driving, but Sasha remained watching me.
“I’m taking you to my place,” Vasili declared. Hatred filled me with a searing burn. Not at him. Not at my best friend, but at life, destiny, and the unfairness of it all. I took a deep breath, then another as my vision blurred. I needed to get myself together. “Isabella will fix you up, and then you’ll stay with us.”
“I don’t want to go to your place,” I screeched, losing my shit. Again. “It’s all happy and joy there. I don’t want to see that.”
Admission and jealousy left my lips and bounced against the metal of the car. It was too late to take the words back.
“You need to move on,” Vasili said quietly.
“Move on,” I repeated quietly. “He was my everything. How do I move on?”
“Tatiana–” Vasili started but I cut him off.
“No, listen. Fuckinglisten, Vasili.” I took a deep breath in but instead of calming me, it only fed the bitterness and rage festering inside me. “What if it had been Isabella? Would you just move on? I am not going to your place. How do you think it makesmefeel? Seeing everything you have that I will never have. I havenothingleft. Fucking nothing.”
Vasili’s eyes flickered to the rearview mirror, connecting with mine. I regretted the words instantly. The raw bitterness was meant to be hidden, not held against the world. Especially not my brother. He deserved happiness.
Tears streamed down my cheeks. I had barely said ten sentences, but I was panting by the time I uttered them. My lips trembled. My hands shook. Blood trickled down my palms and dripped onto the jacket.
“We’ll take you to the hospital,” Vasili finally said. “We have a doctor on the payroll there.”
It was only the beginning of my painful journey.
SEVEN
TATIANA/ KONSTANTIN
Tatiana
Day before Christmas.
Aurora and Bella fussed over the Christmas tree. I didn’t bother putting one up, but my sisters-in-law were as stubborn as they were annoying. With their babies surrounding me with their toothless grins and cooing sounds, Aurora and Isabella decorated the whole tree while I sat and watched, feeling none of the joy. None of the hope.
Fucking nothing.
“Do you want the honor of putting the angel on the top of the tree?” Aurora asked, keeping her voice light despite the worry furrowing her brow. I shook my head. I didn’t want the tree up, what made them think I’d want to put the star on.
“Come on, Tatiana,” Bella urged.
“No.”
I sat on the floor, my hair a matted mess. It had been a few days since I last showered. I think. I wasn’t sure. I knew I reeked of alcohol but thankfully my little nephew and niece didn’t seem to mind at all. Probably because they reeked of baby puke and poopy diapers. Bella swore on her life they’d grow out of it soon; I didn’t believe her.
Little Kostya, Alexei’s son, crawled up my lap, gripping my shirt tightly. He cooed something, and it almost felt like a scold. Or an order.Go take a shower, he probably demanded, staring at me with those pale blue eyes.
“You go take a shower,” I muttered. “You stink too.”
“Mine,” he babbled. The kid thought everything was his.
