Page 8 of Thorns of Lust
For the first time ever, I prayed. I closed my eyes and prayed. For a baby. For inner peace. For the pain to go away. And all the while hot tears pricked at my eyes.
“Tatiana.” My brother’s voice drifted through the air and my eyes snapped open to meet his eyes in the mirror. The coldest eyes. The most broken eyes. Until recently.
Alexei.
The most fractured one of us. Although his wife mended his wounds. He even cracked a smile occasionally. If he could heal, then so could I.
Right?Then why did I feel so hopeless?
“Are you ready?”
I raised a brow, my lips curving into a bitter smile. “Am I ready to bury my husband’s non-existent body?” My lungs felt tight. My voice sounded acidic. I resented his happiness. I resented Vasili’s happiness. I fucking resented everyone. “Sure, I was born ready for it. I am a Nikolaev after all.”
I should have known in our world something always got fucked up. Someone always died. Father died. Alexei’s life was hell because of my mother. Revenge was an ongoing theme in this life - mafia or not. Someone got to Adrian. It was the reason for the car chase. It had to be.
The question was why?
“You hate the world right now.” Alexei’s voice pulled me away from the fog of unknowns.
“I don’t—” I cut myself off. There was no sense denying it. I did hate the world. I hated that I couldn’t remember much from that night, leaving me with a million questions. I hated that the last words from Adrian that I remember were said in anger.
A bitter laugh slipped through my lips, sounding almost hysterical. My future died that night.
Alexei’s gaze, pale blue like mine, was heavy and dark, pinning me to the spot as my heart shuddered.
“He wasn’t as good for you as we hoped,” he said in a cold voice, sending a shock wave through me. “Not anymore.”
Our gazes met. My brows furrowed. Why would he say that?
Shadows in his eyes danced and threatened. He held my stare, as if he waited. Waited for what though?
“Alexei, you know something.” It wasn’t a question. My voice shook worse than my hands. The oxygen failed to make its way into my lungs. My blood started buzzing in my ears. Emotions circled like a tornado, threatening and dark. One wrong move and it’d swallow me whole. “Tell me,” I rasped.
His jaw ticked and his gaze dropped to the ground. As if he was hiding something.
I opened my mouth, but before I could question him, Vasili and Sasha walked in.
“You ready?” Vasili asked and it took all of my self-restraint not to snap at him.
Instead, I closed my eyes and prayed.
* * *
My sunglasses hid most of my face. My black dress fluttered with the breeze.
Red roses covered the black shiny casket. An empty casket. There was nothing left of Adrian to bury. Another bouquet of red roses was thrown on the casket. The color was stark against the shiny black, reminding me of blood.
Blood spilled. Blood wasted.
I stared at the date carved into the fancy niche plaque.
The date of his death. It’d soon be turned into just another crypt. It’d be a cold stone, just like his memories.
The sky darkened and the large clouds moved, hovering above me. The first raindrop was only an opening. Another followed, then another, until it became a constant pitter-patter. People slowly dispersed, running for cover. Absent-mindedly, I noticed Vasili opening an umbrella to shelter his wife and children.
Sasha opened his umbrella and took two steps towards me, sheltering me from the rain. The pitter-patter became louder. Puddles began forming fast around me, and I watched the water surround me. Dampness seeped through my dress and into my bones.
Drowning.
