Page 101 of Contract of a Billionaire
There’d be no salvation for me.
Chapter33
Autumn
Guilt was a powerful feeling.
It gnawed at you. It ate at your insides and turned you inside out.
I didn’t save Alessio while he was being sexually assaulted in front of my eyes. The image from four years ago flashed in my mind, and I started analyzing every single detail.
Fuck, it hurt to think about it but I forced myself to remember every single detail. Images lived in my head. It was the reason I loved photography. It was how my memory worked. Except when it was something I didn’t want to remember.
Alessio’s big frame was sprawled on the marble floor of the presidential suite. His suit jacket was still on, unbuttoned. His pants pulled half down to his knees. The crisp white shirt was half ripped, a brown stain on it. Glass shattered on the floor.
I blinked. There was glass on the floor. All around him. How did I not realize it earlier?
The woman’s head bobbed up and down, up and down.Acid burned in my stomach from the memory and my heart clenched in pain but I ignored it, focusing my mind on every single detail.
Alessio’s hands were relaxed, sprawled down his body. He didn’t grip the woman’s hair. He wasn’t making any noises. All the moans and grunts were hers.
Her hand cupped his balls and he moved. It was slow. Like his body was too heavy to shift.
Oh my God.
He was drugged. And all I did was dwell on self-pity. I walked away from him when I could have saved him.
I should have saved him.I wondered if he blamed me, like I blamed him. Or if I told him Kol was his son would he hate me forever? I stole the first years of our son’s life from Alessio. It was wrong and cruel.
We wasted four years. I had robbed my son of his father too.
I had no idea how long I sat frozen, lost in my thoughts. Four years flashing through my eyes. Kol’s first smile. First crawl. First steps. First birthday. I robbed Alessio of all of it. How could I possibly make it up to him?
Rising to my feet, I strode towards Kol’s bedroom to check on him. Alessio had procured the snap on rails so he wouldn’t fall off the large mahogany bed.
Until I build him a bed,he had said. Only a day around him and he’d proven he’d be a worthy father. And now, when I told him, I’d risk hurting him again. Breaking this fragile bond.
Unless he knew, I pondered. But then, he’d pounce on me. Alessio wasn’t scared to fight for what was his.
My hand shook as I pushed his dark curls off his forehead. Kol slept peacefully, a dreamy smile on his lips. This should have been Alessio’s childhood too.
I failed him four years ago. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was. I needed to ask him for forgiveness. He survived a nightmare and I walked away without a backwards glance. Most of all, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I would always love him.
Pressing a kiss onto my son’s forehead and leaving the door cracked open, I left his room and went into Alessio’s room.
Our bedroom.
I found him there. He must have finished his business call. He didn’t look up as I opened the door. But his back tensed. Like he expected me to hurt him. Again and again.
He sat on the side of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his gaze on the floor. In nothing but black boxers. His muscles sculpted. His ink tempting. The silver moon filtered through the large floor-to-ceiling windows, but the darkness of his admission and my failure lurked in each dark corner of the room.
I waited a moment, holding my breath. I wasn’t sure what I waited for, but my heartbeat thundered in my throat and my ears. The bravery that brought me here suddenly seemed to slither away.
Dad always said I tended to run into things head first. But at this very moment, hesitation kept my feet glued to my spot and tugged on my heart. I worried about messing it up. Hurting him again. Losing him again.
However, there was no turning around. No going back.
So I took steps towards him. I pulled the sweater over my head and let it fall silently onto the floor. Next step, my jeans followed.
